Category Archives: Relationships

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Emor – Leviticus 21:1-24:23

Guilt and regret. It’s terrible to live with such feelings. Despite what seems to be Judaism’s fondness for imposing guilt, in reality the Creator provides several mechanisms for freeing yourself. One is in this week’s parsha, Emor:

“Upon the pure menorah, he will set up lamps, before G-d always . . . . And you shall place them [the loaves] in two stacks, six in each stack, upon the pure table before G-d.” (Vayikra/Leviticus 24:4 and 6)

This Sabbath’s parsha details the standards of purity for a Kohen who serves in the Temple and the requirements of an animal for the sacrificial service. The Sabbath, Passover, Shavuos, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkos are proclaimed as festivals. Next, it discusses the pure olive oil for the menorah and loaves of bread, known as the showbread, for the table. The parsha ends with the story of a man who blasphemed G-d's name.

The story of the blasphemer may seem out of place among such lofty topics as the purity of the Kohanim and sacrifices, the festivals, and the Temple implements. But the placement is no accident.

Emor is always read during the counting of the Omer, a time of semi-mourning, when 24,000 of Rabbi Akiva students died because they could not get along with each other.

Made of pure gold, the menorah and the table symbolize two areas where we should strive for clarity and purity: wisdom and business/daily dealings, respectively. By striving to reach a refined level we can repair past mistakes and deepen our relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. So each day of the Omer count we mold an aspect of our character through every day behavior in accordance with G-d’s wisdom.

Juxtaposed to the menorah and table as symbols of exemplary behavior, the blasphemer typifies denial of G-d. If a person, heaven forbid, will curse the Creator, he demonstrates his belief in the superiority of his desires and decisions. Having set himself above the Almighty, he is unlikely to follow any societal norm or rule of behavior. No foundation exists for a relationship with such a person.

I’m sure you are very competent at work and deal with your associates nicely. And undoubtedly you never curse G-d. But what do you say about your colleagues when they’re not around? The Torah considers gossiping about people tantamount to murder. And you don’t know if such behavior so negatively affects how you’re perceived that it holds back your professional progress, let alone your emotional and spiritual growth. You may think your office relationships are solid. But if you dig below the surface will you find intrigue and unreliability?

As well, you harmonize with other people. Follow the shining examples of the Menorah and the Table, repudiating all aspects of the blasphemer, and repair not only the loss of so many of Rabbi Akiva’s students, but your own mistakes too. In doing so you’ll replace guilt and regret with a positive outlook and stronger relationships.

How do you rid yourself of guilt and regret for past mistakes? Please comment below.

Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

What verse in the Old Testament would you like to know more about? Ask a question and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Acharei Mos-Kedoshim – Leviticus 16:1-20:27

Setting goals for achieving my life’s purpose means finding concrete ways to address emotional or spiritual challenges. Improving my marriage is fine in the abstract. But my wife inhabits the physical world. So wishing or thinking about being a better husband doesn’t do her much good. This week’s parsha, Acharei Mos–Kedoshim, deals with practical ways to pursue metaphysical ends:

“. . . and you will love your neighbor like yourself, I am the Lord.” (Vayikra/Leviticus 19:18)

This Sabbath’s parsha is another double reading. Acharei Mos tells about the Yom Kippur service (from which comes the term “scapegoat”), the prohibition against eating blood, forbidden relationships, and the holiness of the Land of Israel.

Kedoshim gives a long list of mitzvahs (ways of creating a relationship with G-d) from religious to ethical: Respecting parents and elders, giving charity to the poor, being honest in business, observing the Sabbath, not dabbling in the occult, not taking revenge, and forbidden relationships.

Physical Expressions of Love → Not What You Think

Leading up to the famous verse quoted above are several ways you can love your neighbor as yourself. You can leave the corners and gleanings of your field or vineyard for the poor. You can refrain from robbing, make sure you pay your employees on time, and not intentionally hurt a handicapped person.

But for most of us are not farmers, criminals, or malicious. So the Torah seems to lack tangible ways to express our love for other people. What is the standard? If you have a nice car do you have to buy one for your neighbor? When you travel to wonderful places must you take your neighbor along? And if you don’t do these things, should you at least feel guilty that you’re better off than your neighbor?

If you want to provide your neighbor with elaborate gifts you may. But you don't need to be so generous. In the physical realm, you ought to help people meet their basic needs, using 10% but no more than 20% of your income to do so. As important, take care of your neighbor's emotional and spiritual needs.

9 Ways to Build Enduring Relationships

Rabbi Yaakov Tzvi Mecklenburg, the Chief Rabbi of Koenigsburg, Germany during the early to mid-1800s (in his Torah commentary HaKsav V’HaKabbalah), gave a list of how you can love your neighbor as yourself:

1. Express real, not feigned, affection for others
2. Always treat others with respect
3. Always seek the best for others
4. Be more than empathic, join in other people’s pain
5. Greet people with friendliness
6. Give people the benefit of the doubt
7. Assist others physically
8. Be ready to help people with a small loan or gift
9. Do not consider yourself better than other people

If you look at this list I suspect it reflects the way you want to be treated by others. The difference between military and civilian life is highlighted by no. 5. We must offer the greeting of the day to anyone senior to us, who then must greet us back. This small gesture, almost always done in a friendly way, makes military life more pleasant. Which of these behaviors can you habituate to demonstrate daily respect for your neighbor?

How else can you love your neighbor as yourself?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below ↓

Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. Its name comes from the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!