1-½ minutes to read

Have you gotten everything you want in life? A lot of people don’t know what they want. They grope through their lives as if in a pitch-black room. With so many choices it’s difficult to decide. Having determined the object of your desire, you’re tempted to stray after something else. Sticking with your original plan seems like settling. Of course, once you’ve committed to your goal you have to meet it.

You’ll Need Help

Everything you want in life is owned or controlled by someone else. ∞ Roger Dawson, world-renowned teacher of negotiating

Like it or not you will have to ask people for what you want. So spend some time figuring out how to do this in a compelling way.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a magic word you could use to get people’s help? There is.

In a study on helpfulness, researchers setup a situation where a person approached people using a copying machine. He asked to jump to the head of the line because he had to finish a project for his boss. Even when he said please most people said no. But when he prefaced his request with the question, “Will you help me,” most people said yes.

Use the word help when you want someone’s assistance.

Persistence Pays Off

In another study on helpfulness, researchers examined how people reacted to being asked for two favors. They expected people who turned down the first request to help would be more likely to turn down the second request. But their research showed the opposite. Forty-three percent of the people who at first said no agreed to do the second favor. This was more than double what the research subjects anticipated.

Having once been told no, the tendency is to reject that person for future requests for help. But the guilt at having said no often compels people to make amends by agreeing to a second request. When someone turns you down for a job or sale ask for a referral to someone else. Request that you be able to contact them again to see if their situation has changed.

In any event, confidently seek people’s help to get what you want. Remember, if you fail to ask the answer is always no.

What prevents you from asking for help? Please comment below.

© , Kevin S. Bemel, All Rights Reserved

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