Tag Archives: positive habits

Relationships are the Building Blocks of Life

If you’ve read my blog before you know I believe life rests on a foundation of relationships. They permeate all of the Three Pillars of Fitness. So I am delighted to share with you a book that addresses the vital topic of building relationships. How to Be a Power Connector: The 5+50+100 Rule for Turning Your Business Network into Profits by Judy Robinett reads fast and serves as a step-by-step guide on the strategy and tactics you need to know to create, build, and improve the relationships you need to direct your life.

While the title focuses on business, Judy addresses familial, personal, and professional relationships. As important, throughout her book, she stresses the importance of shared values as a basic building block for interacting with people.

Darrah Brustein beautifully summarized the book in her article on Entrepreneur.com. Rather than reinventing the wheel, I asked Judy some questions that arose from my reading her book.

Question: How much of your day is devoted to building and maintaining your network?

Answer: Not even a half hour a day. Keep in mind, just because somebody can help you doesn’t mean he will. Be clear about your goals.

Question: In your book, you shared many of your successes. What have you learned from your networking setback besides avoiding bad actors?

Answer: When you hit a wall, just say next. Relationship building requires resilience, and faith in G-d.

Question: There are people who think those who differ with their politics by definition do not share their values or are bad actors. What advice do you have that might help them reconsider this idea?

Answer: You have to be smarter to see the value in two divergent points of view. Just because you have a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you agree with him on all points.

Question: As a person of faith, how would you respond to someone who says if G-d wants me to meet the right people He’ll make it happen?

Answer: This is Santa Claus thinking.

Question: I have found one of the most important functions of experts is to give people permission to do things they otherwise would avoid. [More on this idea in a future blog post] What things will you give people permission to do?

Answer: It’s okay to be afraid. But adopt the good fear – the kind that moves you out and up, known in Hebrew as yira. Keep in mind, almost nothing can be done alone. Know that half of Americans are shy. They feel just like you do. So talk to strangers. Ask people, “What ideas do you have?” “Who should I meet?” Always be thinking - how can I add value?

Aside from being known as the woman with the platinum Rolodex, Judy is a brave woman. Quoting Hebrew to a rabbi!

The other day I was speaking with a colleague about whiskeys and tequilas he found life changing. I had never considered libations could be that impactful. But whether you are a novice entrepreneur or approaching your silver wedding anniversary, Judy’s insight and advice will improve your relationships and help you take your life to the next level. Get her book today!

How would being more strategic about developing relationships help you?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below

Reach the Top by Reaching Back

Why reinvent the wheel when looking for a personal development plan?  For almost 3500 years people have counted of the Omer to refine their characters.  This year it began on Saturday night, April 4, 2015 but you can start any time.

When You Challenge Yourself You Grow!

It is a powerful tool for self-renewal. Each week has a character trait theme on which to work. The first week is dedicated to Chesed, loving-kindness. For the seven days of that week you work on attributes of this quality. The first day is pure loving kindness. The second day is loving-kindness balanced by Gevurah, justice and discipline. The third is loving-kindness enhanced by Tiferes, harmony and compassion. The fourth is Netzach, endurance in loving kindness. Day five is Hod, humility in loving-kindness. Day six is Yesod, bonding through loving-kindness. And the seventh day is loving-kindness in Malchus, sovereignty and leadership. Succeeding weeks follow this pattern.

Be intentional about practicing each trait each day of the count. To help you I have created a worksheet so you can see the characteristic on which you should work. Each day fill in the task you did so you can keep track of your progress.

Expecting your character to improve without purposely changing your behavior leads to frustration. Counting the Omer gives you the opportunity to elevate your spirit while having a positive impact on those around you.

Let me know how it works for you!

A Simple Habit to Strengthen Your Relationships

I love affirmations. They help keep me positive and on track. Nowhere is this more important than with my marriage and other important relationships. Here’s my favorite:

A Simple Habit to Strengthen Your Relationships

Here are nine more I love:

  1. "A True Friend is the Most Precious of All Possessions & the One We Take the Least Thought about Acquiring" ~ La Rochefoucauld
  1. "As the Yellow Gold is Tried in Fire, So the Faith of Friendship Must Be Seen in Adversity" ~ Ovid
  1. "Life is Not About Competitions Won It’s About Connections Made” ~ Rick Atchley
  1. "Being Deeply Loved by Someone Gives You Strength; Loving Someone Deeply Gives You Courage" ~ Lao Tzu
  1. "The Greatest Gifts You Can Give Your Children Are the Roots of Responsibility & the Wings of Independence" ~ Denis Waitley
  1. “A Good Husband Makes a Good Wife” ~ John Florio
  1. “You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married” ~ Rabs
  1. “A Successful Marriage Requires Falling in Love Many Times, Always with the Same Person” ~ Mignon McLauglin
  2. “Marriage Must Incessantly Contend with a Monster that Devours Everything: Familiarity” ~ Honore de Balzac

Post them on your bathroom mirror, keep them on a card in your journal or wallet, or make them the background on your computer or notebook. Read them daily and they will help you strengthen your bonds with your spouse, children, and friends.

How do you keep important ideas upper most in your mind? Please comment below.

A Hot Idea for Thinking Positively

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Tzav – Leviticus 6:1-8:36

You have probably heard me say before that you can control only two things: what you say and what you do. To have solid relationships you must keep your words and actions in check. But in your relationship with G-d, Parshas Tzav has a different perspective:

The Kohen who performs the sin offering service will eat it . . . (Vayikra/Leviticus 6:19).

A Hot Idea for Thinking Positively

This Sabbath’s parsha continues the discussion of the korbanos, the offerings brought in the Temple, and details the anointing of Aaron and his sons as the Kohanim or Priests who will serve in the Temple.

Would you agree with me that actions speak louder than words? And words speak louder than thoughts? Most of the time we don’t even know what someone is thinking. If so, why is the penalty that atones for improper thoughts harsher than the penalty for improper actions?

Following up on last week’s Parsha Nugget, a strange issue arises. A person who behaves inappropriately brings a Chatas, or sin offering. The Kohen who performs this service gets to eat certain parts of it. But someone who thinks lewd or improper thoughts has the Kohen bring an Olah, or elevation offering. The Olah is totally consumed by the fire on the altar.

Rabbi Sholom Noach Berezobsky, the Slonimer Rebbe, in his work Nesivos Shalom, explains it is much more difficult to control your thoughts than your actions. You might be embarrassed by others seeing what you do. You may not have time to act on a bad impulse. When you think about it, several conditions must be met before you can take any action, let alone a sinful one.

But as fast as you can eradicate one improper thought from your mind, another takes its place. Bombarded by sounds and images, the stimulus to inappropriate thoughts is limitless. And no one can see what goes on in your mind so there is no outside restraint. You’ll never cleanse your mind one thought at a time.

What’s the solution?

Fill your head full of prayer, study, and ideas for serving G-d, such as how you will take care of His children. Like the Olah, only by complete eradication can you ban defeatism, cynicism, and other inappropriate thoughts.

What do you do to keep you mind focused on positive, pure thoughts? Please comment below.


Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

What verse in the Old Testament would you like to know more about? Ask a question and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

Why You’re Not Decisive

Entrepreneurs and military leaders share a common trait: Decisiveness. They understand that delaying a decision is gambling. The bet is that without intervening matters will turn out for the good. And while sometimes deciding not to act makes sense, it is better to affirmatively make that decision rather than letting events overtake you.

Why You’re Not Decisive

From the indecisive times in my life I’ve learned making a decision is not the agonizing part. The pain comes during deliberations when I strive to KNOW what the right answer is. Striving for the unattainable never makes sense. All the more so when I could have decided, acted, failed, and taken another course of action all during the same time spent dwelling on a decision. The first course of action would have gotten me closer to my goal or eliminated an option and simplified my next decision.

Basically, there are three reasons for waffling:

  1. Fear of the results. It seems prudent to delay choosing a plan until you can be sure of the results. But, rarely is the outcome of a decision assured. Since you won’t know if your plan is successful until you carry it out you might as well get started. You will make more progress by acting than by seeking assurance of success.
  2. Vague goals. Basketball players cannot decide on a play if there is no hoop at which to shoot the ball. If you don’t know where you want to go it is virtually impossible to make a decision.
  3. Unclear self-image. If you are convinced you waffle or make bad decisions you will waiver anytime you have to decide what to do. Do you see the chicken and egg nature of this dilemma? Certain of your lack of resolve you are indecisive, which in turn proves you were right to view yourself as being indecisive.

The good news is you can overcome all of these.

  1. Accept uncertainty. You don’t have to be right about every decision to succeed. Making lots of decisions is the best training for making better ones. Seek out every opportunity to be the decider.
  2. Gain clarity for you goals. When you find yourself vacillating, disperse the fog. Be absolutely clear about your goals. They should be SMART. One of the strongest arguments for having a life coach is he will help you gain crystal clarity about your objectives.
  3. Adjust your self-image. Break the cycle by forcing yourself to make decisions whether or not you feel prepared. Post an affirmation on your bathroom mirror saying, “I am a decisive person who loves making decisions. I am not afraid of making a mistake and starting again.” Read it out loud every morning.

Decisiveness, a crucial aspect of being an Intentionalist, can be achieved with practice. Start by deciding to be decisive.

What other issues keep you from being decisive? Please comment below.

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