Tag Archives: jobs

How to Get Respect from Civilians the Easy Way

Do You See Nonmilitary People as the Enemy?

3 minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Devarim – Deuteronomy 1:1-3:22

Some veterans tell me civilians hate them. When somebody thanks them for their service it’s a lie. Private sector companies don't care about hiring veterans. It’s hard to argue the point. Some civilians despise the military and people who served in it. I don't know the people a veteran has met. Maybe they do hate service members.

How to Get Respect from Civilians the Easy Way

Do Civilians Really Hate Service Members?

I couldn’t find a study that quantifies the percentage of Americans who hate the military. I read posts on Quora (an example) and Yahoo Answers (another example) that discuss this issue. Some of the language is crude. But those who expressed negative attitudes rarely directed them at service members.

Have you ever had to tell a friend something he didn't want to hear? It puts the friendship at stake. Still, there comes a point when you have to say something. You wait for the right time. And struggle over the words you’ll use.

Even Moses had to plan for how and when to set the Children of Israel straight in Parshas Devraim:

“You grumbled in your tents and said, ‘Because of G-d’s hatred for us did he take us out from the Land of Egypt, to put us in the hand of the Emorite to destroy us.’” (Deuteronomy/Devarim 1:27)

As he approached death, Moses pointed out the Israelite’s mistakes. Among them, they said their troubles came from the Almighty hating them. But, the charge doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. G-d took them out of slavery. He split the Reed Sea to prevent their annihilation. He fed them in the desert with manna and water. G-d helped them defeat Sihon and Og. And he promised them the land of Israel.

That’s quite a record of generosity.

The Israelites’ complaint stemmed from their hatred of G-d. As good as they had it, life was still painful at times. A child who doesn't get his way will scream at his parent, “I hate you.” The Children of Israel were too sophisticated for such immature behavior. But no matter his age, a person can project feelings onto someone else. It’s a matter of self-protection. Face responsibility, which is difficult, even painful. Or blame someone else. The second course of action is easier.

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Steel yourself. I’m pulling off the Band-Aid, NOW. Unless a civilian has said he hates you, he doesn’t. His failure to hire or promote you doesn't mean he hates veterans. You’re projecting your frustration onto him.

Get Candid Feedback on Your Performance

It’s tempting to blame others when after twenty meetings you still didn’t get a job. Or you’ve seen younger people with less time at the company get promoted. It sure can seem like there’s some anti-military conspiracy keeping you down.

Believe that and you’re sunk.

The military has taught you a lot of valuable skills and lessons. Among them is you’re responsible for the safety of your colleagues and success of the mission. Somehow it seemed easier to accept that responsibility when you could take for granted being respected. Now, when you can't be certain people respect you, it’s harder.

Don’t give into the urge to point the finger at civilians. Recognize they want to help you. Often they don't know how. They’ve learned through experience to navigate civilian life. But that doesn't mean they can explain it to you. Much of how they behave is instinctive.

The Israelites projected their negative feelings on G-d. It led to 40 years of wandering in the wilderness. Avoid their mistake. Get to know some civilians well so you can see firsthand they respect veterans. Instead of blaming them, ask for their help. They may be reluctant to tell you the way you interact with people feels wrong. Assure them you’ll take critical input positively. When you project that you respect civilians you’ll feel they respect and want to help you.

What makes you feel like you don't fit in?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. Its name comes from the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

How to Make Sure You’re Satisfied with Your Job

The Secret to Professional Development in the Private Sector…

2 minutes to read

Advancement in the military was a straightforward process. You knew the career markers: schools, qualifications, exams, and key billets. Some jobs had less upward mobility. Usually, that was because they didn’t need more people in the senior ranks. But where opportunity existed, for the most part, you were on equal footing with everyone else. If only the private sector worked the same way.

How to Make Sure You’re Satisfied with Your Job

The Obscure Process of Career Advancement

Compared to the military, civilian organizations have a mysterious path to promotion. Often the criteria for advancing aren’t clear. You may not even know who can promote you. Coming from the military’s up or out atmosphere, it’s frustrating for your future prospects to be so cloudy.

Besides, private sector organizations and the military are competitive in different ways. Your success in the military came from being the best team player. Camaraderie meant your colleagues were genuinely happy when you advanced. Sure, there were backstabbers. But such people were rare.

In civilian life, people tend to focus on one-on-one competition. It’s much more of a zero-sum game. Companies pit their employees one against the other to get a promotion. Even when there’s no monkey business, it stills feels underhanded.

It might not be so bad if it weren’t for one thing.

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Professional advancement has a big impact on job satisfaction. Succeeding means learning to play the game while holding on to your integrity.

Get a Sponsor Not a Mentor

Research from the Center for Talent Innovation uncovered the key. Veterans lack sponsors. Transition specialists encourage you to find a mentor. Some suggest getting several. A sponsor goes beyond a mentor.

A mentor can offer you:

  • A sounding board
  • Advice
  • Perspective
  • Referral to resources

A sponsor goes further by:

  • Coaching your professional development
  • Defending you against naysayers
  • Advocating for you to senior leaders, especially behind closed doors

When they have a sponsor, 23% of male and 19% of female veterans have greater satisfaction with their job progression. They’re less likely to feel management overlooks their skills. This applies especially to soft skills like team building and transparent decision-making.

Also, they’re less likely to get penalized for exhibiting military behavior that’s misinterpreted. What we see as a straightforward approach can strike civilians as abrupt or harsh. A sponsor helps adjust communication style while mitigating any damage done.

My free guide, The Only Five Steps You Need to Take to Get High-Paying Job, explains the importance of relationships. But using them to get a job is just the beginning. You need to keep building new ones.

Look for a sponsor who:

  1. Has solid influence with senior leadership in your company.
  2. Will be direct in giving you feedback and coaching you to improve.
  3. Will advance your career by mitigating the damage done by your mistakes and highlighting your accomplishments.

You don't need to be young to be a protégé. Finding a sponsor is your first step toward success at a company. It also will help build a foundation on which your job satisfaction rests.

Do you have a sponsor at your company?

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How to Ensure Your Job-Hunt Fails Before It Begins

Do You Know Why Job-Hunting Is Like Basketball?

3 minutes to read

Basketball.  What’s the first thing you do when you want to play?  Do you put your shoes on?  Get a ball?  I’ll admit basketball isn't my favorite sport. One on the rare occasions I tried to join a game, I played left out. But I imagine it’s pretty boring shooting at the air. Confused? I’ll explain.

How to Ensure Your Job-Hunt Fails Before It Begins

Make Sure You Know the Point of the Game

Before anything else, you need a basket to shoot at.

You can perform passing drills. And you may practice dribbling using your fingertips. My dad said it gives better ball control. Talk about dull. I’d train for about five minutes and then sneak away to do something else.

Training is pointless unless it’s preparation to play the game. And the game is pointless without a goal.

In any serious play, a random basket won’t do. Regulations require the hoop to have an 18-inch diameter and its top to be 10 feet above the floor. The backboard must measure 72 inches wide by 42 inches tall. It should have an inner rectangle that is 24 inches wide by 18 inches high.

Any deviation from these standards disqualifies the game. You may have fun. But will anyone care about a slam-dunk record using a basket only eight feet above the ground? Bragging about such an accomplishment will damage your reputation not enhance it.

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Professional players won’t play basketball with a non-regulation basket. They won’t know if they’ve won. Your job-hunt works the same way.

Why Getting a Job Isn’t a Goal

When a service member says he’s getting out of the military I always ask about his plans. In most cases, he replies he has to get his resume together and find a job. To the question, “What do you want to do,” he answers something like, “well I was a 25 Bravo (Navy – IT, Marine Corps - 0651, Air Force - 3 Delta 1) so I guess I’ll get an IT job.”

Can you imagine Kobe Bryant saying he’s a basketball player because “I’ve got a metal ring and some wood.” These supplies don't make a basketball goal. Possessing them won't make someone a basketball player. Your military specialty (MOS, rating/NEC, AFSC, designator, NOBC) doesn’t constitute a job goal.

Did you like working in your military specialty? Yes? Then you have a good field in which to set your job-hunt goal.

If you didn't like you military specialty, you’re setting yourself up for failure by getting a similar civilian job. It may seem faster to look for such a job. But if you didn't like the field, there’s a good chance you won’t do well. Six to 12 months after getting a job you’ll be looking for another one.

To set a worthwhile job-hunting goal, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Choose. Do I like my military specialty? If not, choose another field.
  2. Research. What problems do private sector companies in the field need solving?
  3. Assess. How do I feel about working hard to solve these problems?
  4. Match. Do my skills align with those necessary to deal with the problems I uncovered?

Each question will help you refine your target job. Notice that skills are the last issue, not the first. The military taught you discipline, leadership, and problem-solving. They are more valuable than hard skills, such as IT. Technical knowledge goes out of date. Also, often it doesn’t translate well to civilian work.

Instead, figure out the basic skills that make up your technical knowledge.  An 11 Bravo (Infantryman) wouldn’t seem to have good civilian job prospects. But he has a high level of mechanical expertise. Couple that with discipline, leadership, and problem-solving. How about becoming a Mercedes Benz mechanic? The average salary for this job in Cincinnati is $62,338, with starting pay of $51,338. That’s about what an NCO makes in the military. In San Jose, California salaries are 20% to 25% higher. And you can make close to six-figures after a couple of years. Not bad if you like working on cars.

Hunting for any job is like shooting a basketball without knowing which goal is which. How do you know if you’ve scored? Did you throw it in your opponent’s basket? You may have made the shot. But if the other team got the points who cares?

Choose. Research. Assess. Match. Now you have a goal worth pursuing. When you reach it, you’ll have your first big win in civilian life.

Have you CRAMmed your job-hunting goal?

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How to Get Job Security by Improving One Skill

Four Abilities that Make You Always Employable

4 minutes to read

Technology is wonderful. Communication choices have increased. We can source purchases from around the globe. Tools such as GPS mean we’re never lost. Fishermen can track where fish hide. Cars and airplanes can drive and fly themselves. But, these same benefits have caused job skills to become outdated. Everybody is on an endless treadmill of retooling their abilities to stay competitive in the job market. Do you pine for the good old days when hard work and reasonable skills meant lifetime employment?

How to Get Job Security by Improving One Skill

Technology Targets Mid-Level Earners for Unemployment

When we returned to civilian life, my wife decided to get back into nursing. Little did she know how much the field had changed in six years. Hospitals had implemented new electronic charting programs. She had to learn about new medications, procedures, and regulations. She had to earn a masters degree to get into management.

Farming, manufacturing, service businesses, no industry is immune from technology’s impact. The pace seems only to quicken. I wrote a few weeks ago about how unmanned aerial vehicles could destroy many jobs for pilots. Think about what self-driving cars would do to taxi and Uber drivers.

What do you do to protect yourself from becoming obsolete?

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As wages for an occupation rise, the incentive to replace people with machines goes up too. Low wage jobs aren't worth the investment necessary to replace them with technology. High-paying jobs entail skills that machines can't replicate. Those in the middle, roughly $50,000 to $90,000 per year are most vulnerable. Hence, you see an enlarging gap between low and high-income earners.

Yet, for all the talk about artificial intelligence, a computer or robot can't replace every skill.

At first glance, you may think none of them relate to military work. Take a second look. Most service members used at least one of them on a regular basis. By applying it to a private sector field and improving it, you can take yourself out of the technology line of fire.

Skills that Don't Lose Their Value

You don't need to excel in all four of these skills to get a high-paying job. Master one and you are well on your way to a secure six-figure income. Stand out in two and your employment worries are over.

Innovate. All organizations must innovate to stay alive. Even nonprofits have to find new and better ways to fundraise and deliver services. Contrary to popular belief, no one is born with an innovation gene. You learn this skill. Did you create new policies or procedures while in the military? The young aircraft maintainers I worked with did so all the time. Limited resources stimulated creativity.

Start with learning everything you can about your chosen private sector field. Identify the problems it faces. Crate an inventive solution to one of them. Now here’s where your military experience gives you the edge. Lots of people can come up with an idea. Your military training will help you work out an implementation plan. Stuck on how to get more ideas? Jack Foster’s outstanding book, How to Get Ideas, will stimulate your mind.

Negotiate. In a world where machines control humans, I suppose they’ll settle our disputes. Until then, we’ll have to resolve our own clashes. If you held a leadership role in the military, you negotiated conflicts. If you were in supply or contracting you negotiated with vendors. Does your resume list the hundreds of thousand or millions of dollars you negotiated?

No surprise most private sector organizations need this skill. Is dealmaking a part of your chosen field? Getting people to agree to a business arrangement takes the same abilities as mediating conflict. Start by learning all you can about previous deals in your industry. What made them work? What motivated the parties to come together? Oren Klaff’s Pitch Anything will give you're a primer in private sector dealmaking.

Interrelate. Technology can facilitate communication. But it can't create relationships. You’ve heard it a million times. It’s not what you know but whom you know. It’s half true today. Most organizations don't keep dead weight around. So unless your job is to develop relationships, you’ll need other skills that benefit the company. But without relationships, you won't get the chance to use them. That’s why its one of the 5 Steps You Need to Take to Get a High-Paying Job.

In the military, getting a peer or senior to help you with a task took relationship-building skills. Did you attract the notice of your commanding officer? If not, do you know someone who did? Think about the actions he took. How did he make the initial connection? How did he groom the relationship over time? In How to Be a Power Connector, Judy Robinett explains the steps you need to take.

Sell. If no one buys a company’s goods or services it won't stay in business. Whether it sells them face-to-face, through retail outlets, or online, people drive the process. Technology can aid it. But human communication and ideas close the transaction. Even nonprofits need people who can sell their message and raise money.

You may not perceive it this way, but to advance in the military you marketed yourself. Since you believe in yourself, it was an easy sale. If you were a recruiter, you did some of the toughest selling out there. In the private sector, high pressure, sleazy used-car-type selling doesn't fly today. Companies need people adept at helping clients determine the benefits of their products and services. Polish your sales skills using Tonya Reiman’s The Yes Factor.

Most veterans don't realize they have these valuable, evergreen skills. Review your career and find accomplishments that highlight them. Put them in your resume. Now get to work improving them.

Which of these skills do you have? How are you improving it?

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How to Enjoy Your Job-Hunt and Career

Do You Want Passion in a Career?

3 minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Balak – Numbers 22:2-25:9

Most job-hunting tasks aren’t fun. And, many private sector careers don't provide the enjoyment that we found in the military. So when employment experts talk about finding your passion in a civilian career, I see lots of veterans’ eyes glaze over.

How to Enjoy Your Job-Hunt and Career

Many of our parents taught us to believe work has nothing to do with fun. For them, work meant survival. Enjoyment was beside the point. Today, we see two powerful forces colliding. Most of us still have to work to afford to live. In this respect, nothing has changed.

But the rapidity at which industries and jobs evolve has surged in the last decade. Keeping a job requires constant upgrading of your knowledge and skills. Maintaining your motivation to stay abreast of new developments presents a challenge. All the same, you’ll have to meet it or lose your income.

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Twenty years ago, people used time after work for leisure. Now, they use it to stay competitive in their jobs. If you don't like what you do, how will you stay motivated?

The Difference Between Passion and Lust

In his superb book, No Fears, No Excuses, Larry Smith makes an irresistible case for passion being an essential part of the work you choose to do. He doesn’t define what passion means, so let’s unpack it ourselves. No surprise, it has ancient roots.

Pharaoh had passion for Sarah, Abraham’s wife. Such lust seems to be the image that comes to mind at the word passion. But this type is too easily sated to have relevance to a lifelong career.

We see another kind of passion in the story of Abraham and the near-sacrifice of his son, Isaac. He rises early in the morning to saddle his donkey. Then he rouses Isaac and his two young men. The four leave on their fateful journey. This story counterpoints another tale of passion in this week’s parsha, Balak:

And Balaam arose early in the morning and saddled his she-donkey… (Numbers/Bamidbar 22:21)

Balaam was a great prophet. The Moabite king, Balak, wanted him to curse the Israelites so he could defeat them in battle. But G-d refused to let Balaam go. Finally, seeing Balaam’s yearning to help Balak, the Almighty relents. Balaam wants to get an early start. So he doesn't bother to call a servant to saddle his she-donkey.

Balak knew of Balaam’s deep passion for wealth and honor. He catered to it by sending ever-higher officials to plead with Balaam. Though he pooh-poohed the huge sums of money offered him, Balaam’s desire for it almost leads him to his death. His passion for wealth and honor evinces lifelong self-interest.

Abraham also has a lifelong passion. His legendary hospitality to family, friends, and strangers shows he sought meaning from serving others. On this path, he never wavered. He lived for the next opportunity to take care of the Almighty’s children.

How to Find What You’ll Enjoy

Two men’s passions motivated them to rise early and saddle their donkeys. Both had many servants who could have done this work. Balaam had passion for self-aggrandizement. Abraham had passion for service.

Follow Abraham’s model. You’ve already started along this path in the military. You defended the Constitution, and hence your fellow citizens, against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Build on this legacy in civilian life. Consider these questions:

  1. How can your leadership ability better help people meet life’s challenges?
  2. What team building skills do you have that can help an organization meet its mission?
  3. Where can you bring the unifying spirit of the military to bridge divides in our society?
  4. How can you use the idea of mission command to help a private sector company operate better?
  5. What organization can benefit from your ability to inculcate a sense of purpose in its people, the way your service branch did for you?

These represent a few ways to find passion in your civilian work. Too often, I see veterans grab at the first opportunity. Later, they regret it only to take other, passionless jobs. Not motivated to go the extra mile to develop themselves, their civilian prospects get dimmer each year.

Take the time to find a field of rich interest. Ponder the questions above. Come up with others that help you probe what you'll enjoy. Talk to veterans who found passion in their work. How did they do it? Make the investment in finding a field that captures your interest. It will pay huge dividends over the coming decades.

What prevents you from having work you’ll enjoy?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. Its name comes from the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

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