Tag Archives: goals

How to Ensure Your Job-Hunt Fails Before It Begins

Do You Know Why Job-Hunting Is Like Basketball?

3 minutes to read

Basketball.  What’s the first thing you do when you want to play?  Do you put your shoes on?  Get a ball?  I’ll admit basketball isn't my favorite sport. One on the rare occasions I tried to join a game, I played left out. But I imagine it’s pretty boring shooting at the air. Confused? I’ll explain.

How to Ensure Your Job-Hunt Fails Before It Begins

Make Sure You Know the Point of the Game

Before anything else, you need a basket to shoot at.

You can perform passing drills. And you may practice dribbling using your fingertips. My dad said it gives better ball control. Talk about dull. I’d train for about five minutes and then sneak away to do something else.

Training is pointless unless it’s preparation to play the game. And the game is pointless without a goal.

In any serious play, a random basket won’t do. Regulations require the hoop to have an 18-inch diameter and its top to be 10 feet above the floor. The backboard must measure 72 inches wide by 42 inches tall. It should have an inner rectangle that is 24 inches wide by 18 inches high.

Any deviation from these standards disqualifies the game. You may have fun. But will anyone care about a slam-dunk record using a basket only eight feet above the ground? Bragging about such an accomplishment will damage your reputation not enhance it.

Like what you're reading? Sign up for my blog updates and never miss a post. I'll send you a FREE gift as a thank you. Click here to subscribe.

Professional players won’t play basketball with a non-regulation basket. They won’t know if they’ve won. Your job-hunt works the same way.

Why Getting a Job Isn’t a Goal

When a service member says he’s getting out of the military I always ask about his plans. In most cases, he replies he has to get his resume together and find a job. To the question, “What do you want to do,” he answers something like, “well I was a 25 Bravo (Navy – IT, Marine Corps - 0651, Air Force - 3 Delta 1) so I guess I’ll get an IT job.”

Can you imagine Kobe Bryant saying he’s a basketball player because “I’ve got a metal ring and some wood.” These supplies don't make a basketball goal. Possessing them won't make someone a basketball player. Your military specialty (MOS, rating/NEC, AFSC, designator, NOBC) doesn’t constitute a job goal.

Did you like working in your military specialty? Yes? Then you have a good field in which to set your job-hunt goal.

If you didn't like you military specialty, you’re setting yourself up for failure by getting a similar civilian job. It may seem faster to look for such a job. But if you didn't like the field, there’s a good chance you won’t do well. Six to 12 months after getting a job you’ll be looking for another one.

To set a worthwhile job-hunting goal, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Choose. Do I like my military specialty? If not, choose another field.
  2. Research. What problems do private sector companies in the field need solving?
  3. Assess. How do I feel about working hard to solve these problems?
  4. Match. Do my skills align with those necessary to deal with the problems I uncovered?

Each question will help you refine your target job. Notice that skills are the last issue, not the first. The military taught you discipline, leadership, and problem-solving. They are more valuable than hard skills, such as IT. Technical knowledge goes out of date. Also, often it doesn’t translate well to civilian work.

Instead, figure out the basic skills that make up your technical knowledge.  An 11 Bravo (Infantryman) wouldn’t seem to have good civilian job prospects. But he has a high level of mechanical expertise. Couple that with discipline, leadership, and problem-solving. How about becoming a Mercedes Benz mechanic? The average salary for this job in Cincinnati is $62,338, with starting pay of $51,338. That’s about what an NCO makes in the military. In San Jose, California salaries are 20% to 25% higher. And you can make close to six-figures after a couple of years. Not bad if you like working on cars.

Hunting for any job is like shooting a basketball without knowing which goal is which. How do you know if you’ve scored? Did you throw it in your opponent’s basket? You may have made the shot. But if the other team got the points who cares?

Choose. Research. Assess. Match. Now you have a goal worth pursuing. When you reach it, you’ll have your first big win in civilian life.

Have you CRAMmed your job-hunting goal?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below

Have You Unlocked the Ultimate Power of Your Goal?

How to Make Your Goal Your Destiny

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Va’eira – Exodus 6:2-9:35

The promise of a new year stretches out before you. Hopefully, you’ve already set down your plans for what you’ll accomplish. Setting goals for the New Year is so satisfying. But it comes with risk. How will you feel if you don’t reach your objective? The disappointment can be crushing. And then you have to motivate yourself again. I bet you go straight from setting your goal to working on it, don’t you? Parshas Va’eira shows you’re leaving out a step:

“And Moses and Aaron did as G-d commanded them, so they did” (Shemos/Exodus 7:6)

Have You Unlocked the Ultimate Power of Your Goal-

This Sabbath’s parsha begins with G-d reassuring Moses He will fulfill the covenant made with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Nonetheless, twice Moses tries to get G-d to release him from leading the Israelites. The rest of the parsha describes the first seven plagues the Almighty brought on Egypt as He brings about the Exodus.

The Missing Step

If you read the Torah carefully you’ll notice something strange. It makes a double statement that Moses and Aaron did as G-d commanded. But they hadn’t done anything yet! They don’t even meet Pharaoh until three lines later. Why does the Torah give them credit for completing a task they haven’t even begun?

The Torah hasn’t mixed up its timeline. Rather, it identifies an essential step to reaching any goal. Moses and Aaron had accepted upon themselves the obligation to follow G-d’s command. They made an absolute commitment in their hearts. So the Torah considered it as if they had actually completed their mission.

Moses knows he won’t have an easy time convincing Pharaoh to let the Israelites go. The Almighty previously told him He would strengthen Pharaoh’s heart and Pharaoh won’t listen to him. To persevere in the face of such resistance Moses must commit body, mind, and soul. His failure to do so would have required G-d to choose a new messenger. In the meantime, the Children of Israel would have languished in slavery.

Make Your Goal Your DESTINY

In some ways, setting a goal is the most enjoyable part. The excitement of unlimited horizons stretches out before you. You can indulge in possibilities. In this euphoric state, the struggle of achieving the goal can get overlooked.

Every goal worthy of the name will challenge you. The tasks you have to complete are the easy part. The difficulties arise from having to find ways around roadblocks and getting started again after a setback. Self-doubts plague you. The comfort of giving up on your goal entices you. If you’re not vigilant, you’ll find the end of the year approaching with no accomplishments to show for it.

Between setting a goal and starting work on it, take time to internalize it. Integrate reaching your goal into your mind and soul before beginning any physical tasks. Your resolution should be so deep that you feel joy in anticipation of bringing it to fruition.

Follow Moses’s and Aaron’s example. Notice they didn’t commit to receiving the reward. They dedicated themselves to following G-d’s command wherever it led them.

To create this level of devotion to your goal:

  1. Write your goal down in detail
  2. Write a statement saying you commit body, mind, and spirit to reaching it.
  3. Sign it.
  4. Next, visualize yourself feeling self-doubt about seeing it through.
  5. Then see yourself speaking words of reassurance to yourself.
  6. Finally, what will you do when you’re ready to give up? Who will you speak with who will redirect you back on track?
  7. Whether your spouse or friend, get the person’s assurance to help you when you need it.

Now you’ve made a mental and spiritual commitment to your goal. Go out and overcome all the physical challenges.

What bad habit will you break this year?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below


Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

10 Things that will Boost Your Transition

How to Reintegrate to Civilian Life Quickly and Smoothly

2-½ minutes to read

You don’t know what you don’t know. Wouldn’t you love to have a dollar for every time you heard that during your military career? And its corollary → You can’t fix it if you don’t know what’s wrong. Both are true. And they apply to your transition to civilian life. It doesn’t matter if you’re already in civilian life or getting out next year. Knowing the most common pitfalls veterans fall into will help you avoid them.

10 Things that will Boost Your Transition

3 Areas Where Veterans Struggle

The three areas may not surprise you. But give yourself an honest appraisal of the specific issues within each one:

  • Skills
    • Poor job search skills
    • Cannot translate military skills and experience to the private sector
  • Support
    • Lack of camaraderie
    • Lack of proper mentorship
    • Unable to communicate effectively with civilians
  • Mindset
    • Rigidity
    • Lack of structure
    • Lack of confidence
    • Bad attitude toward civilians
    • Lack of preparation and follow-up
Like what you're reading? Sign up for my blog updates and never miss a post. I'll send you a FREE gift as a thank you. Click here to subscribe.

My series on the 8 Deadly Sins of Job-Hunting shows you how to avoid the most common mistakes veterans make when looking for a job. You can learn to properly assess your skills using the four steps I outline here. Let me know what questions you still have. Look me up on the mobile phone app Carrot.FM if you want to do a quick one-on-one.

Create Momentum in Your Transition

With any long-term task, some early wins will motivate you through the inevitable setbacks. If you’ve been struggling for a while you know how a lack of positive momentum hurts your efforts.

Start by ensuring your job-hunting skills are up to speed. Be clear about you private sector value proposition. Know the outcome you want. Because you control these issues they’re the easiest to deal with.

Now you can overcome the bigger hurdles of support and mindset.

Support seems like a straightforward issue. But surrounding yourself with people who can and will encourage your aspirations can be difficult. Do you miss the closeness of relationships in the military? You may have to give up some friendships and create new ones. Be intentional when deciding whom you’ll befriend.

Not everyone who wants to mentor you can. Find one who has:

  1. Already succeeded in civilian life.
  2. Knows military life and culture well.
  3. Has the time to help you.

If any one of these is lacking you won’t get the support you need. A person can’t teach you to communicate in a realm he doesn’t know.

Most coaches will tell you mindset conquers all. Actually, your attitude and ability to market yourself mutually support each other.

Adapting to civilian life requires flexibility. Paraphrasing Helmut Van Moltke:

You have thoughts about how reintegration will work. You have dreams for what civilian life will be like. Fine. Just know reality won’t match what’s in your mind.

Despite all my experience and contacts in the civilian world, very little of my transition matched my post-navy plans. Some things turned out better. Others worse. That’s life.

At the same time, you must be self-disciplined enough to overcome the loss of military structure. Have a set wake up time and bedtime. Keep up an exercise regimen. If you’re looking for a job, work the same hours as you would on the job.

People get a gut feeling about your confidence level. If you have a negative dialog going on in your head here’s how to change it. Have your mentor on call to give you confidence boosts when you need them.

Check out Job-Hunting Deadly Sins #3 and #8 to handle a bad attitude toward civilians and follow up. I’ll talk about preparation in a future post.

Now you know the key issues supporting a successful transition. Examine each one in light of your own situation. If it applies to you deal with it as soon as possible. None of them are insurmountable. Put on your Kevlar and push through the obstacles.

Which issue is disrupting your transition?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below

Here is the Method that Will Help You Reach Your Goals

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Vayeitzei – Genesis 28:10-32:3

Periodically, Melanie argues we should leave Los Angeles. The cost of living and taxes are outrageous. Despite building a light rail system, traffic gets worse each year. Materialism pervades everywhere. But the conversation bogs down because we can’t just leave L.A. We have to go somewhere else. Until we have the clarity Jacob gets in Parshas Vayeitzei, I guess we’ll stay put:

“And Jacob went out from Beer-Sheba, and he went to Haran.” (Beresheis/Genesis 28:10)

Here Is the Method that Will Help You Reach Your Goals

This Sabbath’s parsha begins with Jacob fleeing to his uncle Laban’s house. On the way there he has an encounter with G-d. Jacob meets Rachel and falls in love. He agrees to work seven years so he can marry her. The morning after his wedding he finds himself married to Leah. So he agrees to work another seven years to marry Rachel.

Next Jacob and his wives have eleven sons, who become leaders of the tribes, and one daughter.  Jacob and Laban make a new work contract. But eventually, the discord between them becomes so great Jacob flees with his household. At the end of the parsha, Laban and Jacob reach détente.

Know Why You’re Going

We know from the previous parsha that Isaac was living in Beer-Sheba. The Torah tells us Jacob went to Haran. But it also says he went out from Beer-Sheba. Umm, duh. He couldn’t have gotten to Haran without leaving Beer-Sheba. The Torah doesn’t waste words, so why does it tell us this?

Jacob needed to follow two directives. Rebecca told him to get away from the danger of Esau wanting to kill him. And Isaac instructed him to marry one of Laban’s daughters. Jacob performed both duties. By leaving Beer-Sheba, he did what his mother commanded him. And by going to Haran he did as his father commanded.

Okay, so Jacob obeyed his parents. But the 10 Commandments will make it clear we have to do that. Again there’s that repetition problem.

Rebecca’s and Isaac’s directives converged into one large goal. They wanted to ensure Jacob was fit to fulfill what G-d had in mind. If Esau killed him, he could not physically assume the mantle of leadership from Isaac. If he chose the wrong wife, he would not be fit mentally and spiritually to lead.

Give Yourself Two Motives to Reach Your Goals

Every worthwhile goal has two parts to it:

  1. Moving toward something
  2. Giving something up.

While he had to escape from his brother, the task set by his father gave Jacob direction. He could move toward finding a wife. But striking out on a new path is difficult. Esau forced him to give up his former life. Both gave Jacob the incentive to persevere.

Any goal you set must fit into your larger life’s purpose. If you find yourself not reaching a goal, examine whether it aligns with the person you want to become. Does it help you fulfill your mission?

Sometimes a goal lights up your soul but isn’t in alignment with your purpose. Do you still have passion for your purpose and mission? Yes. Change your goals. No. Alter your mission and purpose.

Jacob’s example can motivate you to get a job you love, improve your marriage, or reinvigorate your relationship with G-d. Have a passionate why, a positive motivation, and a powerful incentive to leave behind the part of yourself that previously held you back.

Question – Can you identify a goal that does not have these two components?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below


Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

What verse in the Old Testament would you like to know more about? Ask a question and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

Are You Using This Excuse for Not Reaching Your Goal?

2-½ minutes to read

You need to take action. You won’t accomplish your goal if you don’t. Finding the job you want. Improving your physical fitness. Getting closer to your spouse. Becoming closer to G-d. All require doing something. The problem is what you did in the past didn’t work. And acting for the sake of being busy is pointless. What do you do?

Are You Using This Excuse for Not Reaching Your Goal?

Not Knowing What to Do

Procrastination tops the list of things I bawl myself out for. Work time has to be productive. I’ve learned to alternate easy tasks with those that take intense focus. This keeps my momentum going.

When I start putting off a difficult task, I need a quick way to get back on track. Once I’ve identified the source of my procrastinating I can overcome it.

You learn a lot from helping people get past their barriers. Having coached over 1,300 veterans in the last eighteen months, I’ve found most procrastinate because they’re unsure. It comes in two forms:

  1. Lack of information.
  2. Lack of self-confidence.

Of the two, the first one is by far the easier to solve. You need a couple of things:

  1. Data. The Internet puts a massive amount of information data at your fingertips. You know you need inside connections to get the job you want. Research their names. Proceed.
  2. Process. Figuring out what steps to take and how to execute them is more challenging. If you don’t know how to build relationships you can learn from trial and error. Or you can get trained.

At times you may overload on information. In that case, arrange your options from best to worst. Better choices will stand out. If they don’t, order them at random. Then act on option 1. If it works, great! If not, move on to option 2.

Working the process gives you momentum. Agonizing over it produces idleness. Careful choosing won’t guarantee success. Acting consistently will.

Not Wanting to Do It

The real problem comes when lack of information conceals a lack of self-confidence. The scenario usually plays out like this:

If I only knew ______________, I could ________________.

For example, fill in the blanks with “how to better write my resume” and “get the job I want.” If you're relying on your resume to get you a job you'll be waiting a long time.

Often this attitude comes from having tried things that didn’t work. Here’s where you have to be careful.

Are you sure you don’t know what you need to do? Or do you just not like doing it? Think of how many nasty things you had to do in basic training. Many seemed useless. Now you laugh at them. Civilian life isn’t any different.

The worst case comes when you get discouraged. Motivating yourself to take the right steps yet again seems pointless. You convince yourself it’s a waste of time. There has to be a better way, right?

Do that long enough and you’ll kill your self-confidence. At that point, you won’t take action because you’re sure it won’t help.

Be honest with yourself. Don’t give yourself an out. Do you really want to reach your goal? Just plow forward no matter what.

Teddy Roosevelt famously said:

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your troubles, you wouldn’t sit for a month.

How about giving your backside a break in 2017?

What information do you need to reach your goal?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below

Get More Ideas Like These for Firing Up Your Life and a FREE Bonus!


  • The wisdom of Scripture
  • Battle-tested ideas from the military
  • Profitable business concepts

to design a better life for you and your family!

Plus, you'll get a FREE bonus, my 49 Day Challenge to Refine Your Character!