Category Archives: Transitions

How to Help Military Veterans Find a Job

3 Things You Should Learn About the Military

2 minutes to read

(NOTE: I wrote this for civilians who want to help veterans transition better. If you’re current or former military, please pass this on to a civilian friend.)

I spent a lot of time traveling the last five weeks. Airlines work hard to show their appreciation for service members and veterans. None charge bag check fees, even for personal travel. All let military people pre-board. Though they're small, I welcomed them nonetheless. But what do you do if you don't work for an airline?

How to Help Military Veterans Find a Job

It Takes Two to Create a Gap

For most military people, re-entering civilian life seems a bit like moving to a foreign country. A couple of examples will show what I mean.

Daily interactions change. For example, military courtesy requires extending a greeting. You say good morning or good afternoon to everyone who passes by. In the civilian world, older people like when I do this. Young women give me a dirty look. They must think I want to pick them up.

It’s not because I live in a big, anonymous city (Los Angeles). Veterans in smaller towns have the same experience. It’s just one way the structure of day-to-day life gives way to disorder.

Another culture shock comes from the attitude toward work. In the military, commitment to job completion is near universal. Hours worked have nothing to do with it. You stay until the task is done. But civilian work is not life or death. (Health care professionals and a few others are exceptions.) So the work ethic looks different.

Barring a major war and mass military mobilization (G-d forbid), civilian life is not going to become more like the military. So as much as veterans might want things to change, they won’t. Still, many could use a boost as they leave active duty and become a part of your community.

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What can you do besides thanking them for their service?

Take on a Bit of the Transition Burden

Through my work with employers who want to hire veterans, I’ve identified three ways you can help.

  1. Understand military culture. Helping someone requires understanding. By learning about military culture, you can enter a veteran’s world. But forget movies and television. No matter how much they claim to be genuine, they're not. I mentioned a couple of issues above. Ask someone in the military to familiarize you with how it works. Keep in mind, everyone’s experience is a little different.
  2. Identify the benefits of hiring veterans. Many veterans, especially young ones, can't tell an employer why hiring veterans is good. People seem to know that military people have self-discipline and skills. But these benefits are too general. Check next week’s post for more on this issue.
  3. Use the military personnel structure. Anyone with even moderate success in civilian life has learned to market himself. Military people don't have this skill. We work in a structured personnel environment. Each service branch trains its members then codes their skills. Crack this code and you can pinpoint hiring for your organization.

Think about the last time you made a transition. Didn’t it feel good when someone reached out? Veterans appreciate straight talk and encouragement. If you want to move beyond these, you now have a road map.

How have you helped veterans transition?

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Do Your Know Your Most Important Quality?

How to Make the Most of Your Military Ethic

3 minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Ki Seitzei – Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19

On the whiteboard in the medical department of my unit, someone wrote out the “Idea Quality Scale”:

Do Your Know Your Most Important Quality?

Ain’t it the truth? At times you’d think the brass designed regulations to thwart productivity. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Lack of sufficient personnel requires long hours to get the job done. Old equipment means lengthy searches for spare parts. I’m sure you can add to this list. Wouldn’t it be nice to escape such frustrations in civilian life?

The Overlooked Source of Passion 

Good luck with that. Half of Americans feel no connection to their work. So they put in the minimum effort. Another 16% hate their jobs. With two-thirds of employees discontent, the civilian workplace isn’t a haven from frustration.

I couldn't find any statistics, but I’d venture to say reverse the numbers for the military. Maybe a third of service members are indifferent or loath what they do. More important, few put in minimal effort. We have a deep passion for our service. But confusion over the nature of passion disguises it. We attribute our dedication to other factors like work ethic and service. Parshas Ki Seitzei sorts it out:

“…you will obliterate the remembrance of Amalek from beneath the heavens. Do not forget.” (Deuteronomy/Devarim 24:9)

G-d gives such a strange command. Don't forget to remember to wipe out the memory of Amalek. Setting aside the self-contradiction, it looks like we’ve done it. When was the last time you heard someone talking about the Amalekites? At least we’ve fulfilled one of our duties to G-d.

Or have we?

Recall why the Almighty condemned the Amalekites to oblivion. The Israelites experienced the miracles of the Exodus and the splitting of the Reed Sea. They saw final destruction of the Egyptians. They ate manna from heaven in the wilderness. These experiences created a warm closeness with G-d. So the other nations of the world left the Israelites alone. Except for Amalek, who attempted to throw a cold blanket on this party by attacking them.

How do we know? The word karcha describes the meeting between the Israelites and Amalek. It means “encountered” and “cooled you.” By striking, the Amalekites hoped to cool the Israelites’ passion for G-d.

But, Amalek isn't only a people. It’s within us, attempting to cool our ardor for the Creator. This Amalek, a much more insidious enemy, we have yet to destroy.

No problem, right? Heat cures cold. Rev up your enthusiasm for serving G-d. Pray more. Take time to study. Do more good deeds. While this may work for a while, swings in your mood and energy will make your progress inconsistent. As well, your agenda may get in the way. Prayer may focus on what you want instead of seeking G-d’s will. Good deeds may curry favor with important people.

Better to fight the cool of the Amalek with ice. Ezekiel (1:22) tells about the “awesome ice, spread out over the heads of the Chayah.” An angel, the Chayah serves G-d with tremendous enthusiasm. But higher than its service is the “awesome ice.” Its devotion is steady, unswerving, a total commitment without a hint of ego. Moses, Aaron, and Miriam serve as examples. All were warm and compassionate. And they had rock solid connections to the Almighty. Heating up your relationship with G-d creates passion. Ice cold resolve steels it against swings in mood and energy.

The True Passion in Military Service                              

You see passion in the heat of military affairs. A drill instructor pumps up his trainees. A column runs with its guidon while calling cadence. A vocalist sings the National Anthem at an official event. But basic training ends after several weeks. The run and the song are shorter still. Then it’s back to the grind of daily life. Does the passion disappear?


It lives on in the dogged commitment to meet the mission. Endless hours working while you grumble about missing parts, meals, and family time shows passion. Your fidelity to duty in the face of stupid policies exhibits passion.

No quality has a higher value in civilian life. Most people don't lead mission driven lives. They're filled with apathy. You embody the icy passion that gets the hard, boring, but necessary jobs done. Be as mission driven outside the military as you were when in it. Such ardor creates a relationship with the Almighty. It will make your transition to civilian life equally stellar.

When did icy passion get you through a tough time?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. Its name comes from the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

3 Ways Excellence Is More Achievable than Ever Before

How the Barriers to Preeminence Have Collapsed

2-½ minutes to read

America was built on the idea that success comes from working hard and staying out of trouble. But there were always barriers to attaining elite status. Those who went to an Ivy League University had certain doors open for them. Wealth conferred privileges unavailable to people of lesser means. Large companies used their financial power and political muscle to stifle competition. If you follow the news it appears that not much has changed.

3 Ways Excellence Is More Achievable than Ever Before

The Military as a Path to Excellence

During the 20th century, the military provided the means to excel. As a result, men such as Dwight Eisenhower and Omar Bradley could be born in poverty and reach the pinnacle of success. Most people know of Eisenhower’s rise from poor Kansas farm boy to President of the United States.

Bradley grew up as the son of a Missouri county schoolteacher. His father died when he was 15. He won an appointment to the Military Academy. During World War II, he led the 900,000 men of 12th Army Group. He rose to the rank of General of the Army (5 Stars) and became Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. After retiring from the Army he was Chairman of the Board of Bulova Watch Company.

Average GIs found success too. The GI Bill made college available to millions of service members who could not have afforded it. The world needed engineers, accountants, and other professionals in huge numbers. The World War II generation took the grit they developed during the Great Depression and the war, combined it with education, and pursued excellence.

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But Americans who hadn't worn the uniform lacked this advantage. For them, the path to excellence remained a struggle at best.

Changes that Benefit Your Future Success

Seventy years after the end of World War II, the world has changed. It has enough lawyers and accountants. It needs more doctors. But the economics of medicine have altered the profession for the worse. College no longer provides a sure route to success.

Yet, today there are opportunities to achieve excellence that never existed before. At least three factors drive this trend:

  1. A degree provides no guarantee you’re on a path to excellence. But education is available like never before. Someone teaches whatever skills you lack. Take valuable abilities like marketing and coding. Community college classes and online programs abound. Anyone can afford these courses. I’ve mentioned before all the large companies that no longer require a degree. Is there any doubt organizations such as Google, Ernst & Young, and Hilton want employees who pursue excellence?
  2. Social media has broken down barriers to the point that you have access to almost everyone. Derek Halpern at Social Triggers has a free video and download explaining how to email influential people and get a response. In his book, The 2-Hour Job Search, Steve Dalton gives you a more in-depth explanation. Here’s a summary. View the whole slide deck then focus on 27-32. Using my status as a veteran, well over 80% of the people I’ve contacted have responded.
  3. The Internet and social media have shrunk the cost to access potential clients. They have driven intermediaries out of the sales chain and robbed large companies of market dominance. Marketing and entrepreneurship gurus offer training on targeting a niche market. You can beat even the biggest multi-nationals. Check out Amy Porterfield and Pat Flynn.

Add these three factors to your advantage as a veteran and you can be unstoppable. Don't get me wrong. It will still take a lot of hard work. You’ll make mistakes and have setbacks. But the hurdles that past generations faced are gone. It’s now up to you to take advantage of this opportunity. Wading in mediocrity means your financial future will erode. Embracing the quest for excellence puts you on the path to the highest level of success…

What is holding you back from striving for excellence?

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Why Everyone Needs a Guide for Life

What You Have in Common with the Ancient Israelites

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Re’eh – Deuteronomy 11:26-16:17

Life in the military acclimates a person to oversight. Someone supervises your work. You have standard operating procedures to take you step-by-step through processes. You have to pass a periodic physical fitness test. The military uses surprise urinalyses to prevent drug use. Training in sexual harassment and assault emphasize how such behavior impairs mission readiness and hurts your comrades. Notice anything missing?

Why Everyone Needs a Guide for Life

The Israelites Needed New Guidance

In 2013, I participated in three rounds of sexual assault prevention training. The substance varied little from one to the other. It was clear the Navy felt the first two hadn't gotten through to sailors. But, there seemed to be no point in presenting the same material yet again. Before we embarked on the third series, I sat down with my commanding officer.

I pointed out to him a glaring gap. Nowhere did the training make an unequivocal statement that sexual harassment and assault are wrong. The Navy set the rules. But it wouldn’t make moral judgments. Each sailor had to fill in the void. Was it surprising that some came to the wrong conclusion?

In Parshas Re’eh G-d makes it clear that people shouldn't make unguided moral decisions:

“Beware for yourself lest you bring up your elevation offerings in any place that you will see.” (Deuteronomy/Devarim 12:13)

This Sabbath’s parsha continues preparing the Israelites for life in the Land of Israel. During their wanderings in the wilderness, G-d was close by. Moses instructed them daily. Now they would live dispersed throughout the land. Moses would be gone, G-d farther away. Making the right moral decisions would be more difficult.

Lest people come to think they could do whatever they wanted, the Almighty gives a reminder. Don't fool yourself into thinking something that’s wrong is right. The rules still apply. In fact, now that I won't be so close, you’ll have less leeway in which to act.

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In the third round of briefs, my CO began each one by stating sexual harassment and assault are wrong. I followed up by asking the question, “How would you feel if a shipmate treated your sister or mother that way?” A crusty old chief petty officer got incensed at our moralizing. But younger sailors appreciated the guidance. One said to me he had never thought about it in moral term until I personalized the behavior.

You Have to Play by Different Rules

The rules of civilian life are different than the military. I asked the members of my veterans Facebook group, Passport to Success – Military Vets (click here to join), what they learned on their first day in a civilian job. Some of the responses were:

“Using F*** every other word was not ok lol.”

“Kill is not a proper response to anything, especially when talking to ER nurses.”

“Based on my coworkers shoes, a good shine is no longer a priority.”

“Your assumptions about civilians is no better than their assumptions about veterans. We have to work hard to break the stereotypes about veterans.”

Experience is a tough teacher. Better to get a trusted advisor who can help you learn the rules of the civilian world. Some are moral. Others are practical. But they're all important to reintegrating.

Earlier today I took sexual assault training again. The Navy still doesn't say it’s wrong. Don't make the same mistake. Find someone, perhaps a fellow vet farther along in the process, to be your guide.

Who do you know who can help show you the way in civilian life?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. Its name comes from the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

Want Greater Success? Learn to Tolerate More of This…

What You Want Lies Beyond a Wall of Boredom

2-½ minutes to read

The military holds the promise of an exciting life. If you haven’t seen the latest recruiting commercials take a look. Think of the adrenaline rush from jumping off that airplane. Is there any chance you’ll find being a Marine boring? Both of these pale in comparison to Special Forces. There’s never a dull moment in the military. Yeah, right. If General Military Training doesn’t put you to sleep paperwork will. But hey, it’s the government. You have to expect tedium. The private sector is different.

Want Greater Success? Learn to Tolerate More of This…

The Two Types of Boredom

Growing up not far from Hollywood, the excitement of making movies enthralled me. I had to be a part of it. In the late 1980s, I got my chance. My friend needed a producer for his next project. Count me in!

It didn't take long for reality to hit. Decorating the set. Focusing the lights. Practicing camera movements. Rehearsing the actors. Often it took several hours to set up a shot that took less than a minute to film. As the producer, I had to keep people from getting bored and mischievous to protect my investment.

Since then, I joke about the “glamour” of the film business. Don't get me wrong. Premieres are exciting. But such moments punctuate long periods of tedium.

Of course, it's nothing like the boredom of cold calling. The difference between film production and sales highlights the two types of boredom.

  • Passive Boredom – Sitting around with nothing to do.
  • Active Boredom – Repetitive tasks that aren't exciting.
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Most people can tolerate the first type. You may have trouble relaxing. Still, if your job requires stretches of getting paid to do nothing you can adapt.

How to Overcome Boredom

Active boredom is another story. Having to do dull, repetitive tasks saps most people’s endurance. But you can’t reach a goal without them.

About a month ago I had to start doing abdominal work again. My stomach has gotten too flabby. It is soooooo boring doing crunches and leg lifts. I tried listening to upbeat music while exercising. It didn't help. I had to set an ironclad goal and accept the tedium.

Many job-hunting tasks are boring. Always reaching out to your contacts. Writing lots of thank you notes. Practicing your elevator pitch and what you’ll say in a meeting to get a job. All these can tax your patience. I can understand why you just want the thrill of getting the job. But these boring tasks are what will make that happen.

It won't be different on the job. You’ll have exciting moments. But you’ll spend most of your time on routine work. Yet that’s where you’ll make your biggest impact. Great ideas are a dime a dozen. Execution is what matters. That means doing and keeping track of dozens of small, everyday tasks.

Now you can see why it’s important to have a mission and objectives. You need to work in a field you love. If not, it’s too easy to stop doing the boring tasks that take you to your goal.

Don’t let slick videos seduce you into thinking success and excitement go together. If you want to succeed, prepare to buckle down and power through boredom.

What did you do in the military to keep working toward boring goals?

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