Category Archives: Transitions

How to Breakthrough the Fog of a Transition

Why You Must Discover the Genuine You Now

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Vayechi – Genesis 47:28-50:26

Have you noticed the longer a colleague stays in the military the more his identity merges with his service branch? Leadership encourages this in the interest of esprit de corps. As you move on from military service have you shifted to a civilian outlook? If you see yourself only as a veteran it’s going to be a tough transition. Take an object lesson from Parshas Vayechi:

“A lion cub is Judah… The scepter shall not depart from Judah….’” (Bereshis/Genesis 49:9-10)

How to Breakthrough the Fog of a Transition

This Sabbath’s parsha concludes the book of Genesis. Jacob was near death. He asked Joseph to swear not to bury him in Egypt. Rather, he wanted to be interred in the cave of Machpelah in Canaan with Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebecca, and Leah. Jacob blessed Joseph’s sons Manasseh and Ephraim, thereby making them in effect of his sons. Then he blessed his own sons, though some of the blessings sound more like reprimands.

All Egypt mourned Jacob, testifying to his greatness. The grandeur of his burial procession impressed and scared the Canaanites. After his father’s death, Joseph assured his brothers he forgave them. He lived to see his great-grandchildren. Before he died, Joseph asked his brothers to bring his bones with them when G-d brought them out of Egypt.

The stage is now set for the enslavement of the Israelites and their redemption.

Judah’s Unique Blessing

Only three of the twelve sons got a blessing that dealt with his character and future impact on the Israelites. Jacob pointed out Issachar’s stubbornness. But he predicted he would teach the Israelites G-d’s laws. Jacob described Dan as a serpent and a viper (ouch!). But he appointed him the avenger of the tribes.

Both sons take a hit on character. But Issachar will turn stubbornness into tenacity. And Dan will bite only the Israelites’ enemies.

In contrast, Jacob compared Judah to a lion cub who will grow to become an “awesome lion.” With the character of the king of beasts, Judah inherits the mantle of kingship over Israel. None of his brothers received the double blessing of outstanding moral strength and leadership.

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After Jacob’s death, Judah alone continued life with an unambiguous purpose and mission.

Uncertainty Comes from Lack of Purpose & Mission

When I was seven years old I got a fortune cookie warning me to beware of becoming a jack-of-all-trades. Almost 50 years later I still struggle at times with staying focused on my purpose and mission. A shiny opportunity will flash before my eyes and before I know it I’m off chasing it.

Many people equate the two. But as you saw in the blessings:

  • Purpose describes your traits and character, who you are as a person.
  • Mission tells how you will impact the lives of other people.

They support each other. Your mission should grow out of your purpose. Notice the relationships between the two for Issachar, Dan, and Judah. You may struggle with a trait, such as stubbornness. But you can make it useful for achieving the right mission.

Choosing a mission out of sync with your purpose will cause frustration. Issachar’s inflexibility prevented his being king. Before you choose your personal mission, get clear on your strengths and weaknesses.

Leaving the military necessitates changing your mission. You won’t be on the front lines “support[ing] and defend[ing] the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic….” Your purpose will have to change as you transition your identity from service member to civilian.

Step one on your reintegration agenda requires that you uncover your purpose and mission for civilian life. No other accomplishment will have a greater impact on your future happiness and success. Get started now.

Question – Have you taken an inventory of your traits and characteristics?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

What verse in the Old Testament would you like to know more bout? Ask a question and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

Conquer This Obstacle and You’re Sure to Succeed

How to Crush Your Biggest Transition Challenge

2 minutes to read

Where do you want to triumph this year? Among the big three of health, finances, and family, which is most urgent? You want to pick all three, don’t you? I get it. How can you say you want to make your health your top focus? Isn’t family the most important? They bore so much neglect when you were on active duty. Are you going to prioritize your career over them now? Your mind tells you one thing. Your heart draws another conclusion.

Conquer This Obstacle and You’re Sure to Succeed

You Cannot Have Multiple Priorities

Though I left active duty in 2012, I went back on long-term orders during 2013 and most of 2014-2015. Each time my business training veterans to find high-paying jobs suffered. At the end of 2015, I had to make a choice. Was I going to take orders and continue helping active-duty shipmates? Or should I to commit to my business?

My heart pulled me both ways. My head was equally undecided. After weighing the short versus long-term consequences of each option and the impact on my health and family I opted for my business.

That decision did more than set a career path. It united mind and heart.

Fortunately, my health is good. But my family takes a hit. I can’t homeschool my daughter. My wife and I don’t have weekly dates as often. I’m away from home more.

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I could pretend to have two or three priorities. But that’s the same as not having a priority. You have to sacrifice to conquer this obstacle.

Conquer Fogginess First

If you want to triumphantly reintegrate into civilian life, you’ll have to align your heart and mind to crush your lack of focus.

You know your health and fitness undergird everything. Compare how you look now to a picture of you in uniform. Try on your uniform. Give yourself a physical readiness test. If you’ve forgotten the standards you can find them online.

Are you noticeably heavier? Can you pass the test? If you answered no to either of these questions you have your priority for this year. Accept that finances and family will take a hit.

If health isn’t your issue, examine your finances. Are you living paycheck to paycheck? Are you putting money away each month for a rainy day fund? If you don’t have a pension, are you investing for retirement? If you answered no to any of these questions, your priority is finances. Sit down with your family and talk about sacrifices for the coming year.

If both of health and finances are good, you can focus on family.

Now, Identify the main change you need to make. The foundation of good health rests on proper sleep, diet, and exercise. Stronger finances require a better job or starting your own business. Durable family life means developing your interpersonal skills and investing time in relationships.

Your biggest transition challenge comes from a lack of clarity. Crush the vagueness. If necessary. deal with the impact on your family. Now relentlessly pursue your priority.

Which of the big three is your priority this year?

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The Most Amazing Job Interview of All Time

4 Powerful Attributes You Can Use Now

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Mikeitz – Genesis 41:1-44:17

Your palms sweat. Your shirt collar feels tights. You fumble for the right words. Before your know it, the interviewer has thanked you for coming in and you’re out the door. Then the recriminations begin. “If only I’d answered that first question better.” “I should have mentioned that project I did where the CO gave my unit a Bravo Zulu (well done).” Job interviews create an enormous amount of anxiety. Joseph’s rise to Prime Minister in Parshas Mikeitz shows a better way to handle them:

“And Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘after G-d made known to you all of this, there is no one discerning and wise like you. You will be over my house…’”(Beresheis/Genesis 41:39-40)

The Most Amazing Job Interview of All Time

In this week’s parsha Joseph interpreted Pharaoh’s dream and became Viceroy of Egypt. Next, a famine began, resulting in Jacob sending ten of his sons to Egypt to buy food. Joseph knew he must fulfill the prophecy that his brothers would bow down to him. He demanded they bring Benjamin to Egypt. At first, Jacob would not consent but the lack of food became so severe he had no choice. Once they were all there, Joseph endeavored to find out if his brothers’ attitude had truly changed.

From Slave to Prime Minister in One Meeting

With just one conversation the slave Joseph, a prisoner, became Prime Minister of Egypt.

Unsurprisingly, ex-convicts have a hard time finding work, especially for jobs requiring a high degree of trust. Yet the absolute ruler of Egypt promoted Joseph to the number two position of power after just one interview. Granted Pharaoh acknowledged his wisdom and discernment. But how could he have had such confidence in Joseph?

I’ve called it a job interview, but I doubt Joseph looked at it that way. Though he acted with respect, the meeting was between two equals. Pharaoh ruled the most powerful nation on Earth. And even though he’d been in prison for two years, Joseph stood as a prince of the Almighty. He could have felt inferior. But Joseph acted with self-confidence.

Before interpreting Pharaoh’s dreams Joseph acknowledged his own lack of power. He attributed his gift to G-d. From this minor point, Pharaoh extrapolated Joseph’s total integrity. Joseph was modest but honest.

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In the previous parsha, Joseph dreamed his brothers and parents would bow down to him. He didn’t hesitate to share this vision with his family. True to character, for the bad tidings in Pharaoh’s dreams, Joseph boldly offered his solution. Pharaoh rewarded his authenticity by appointing him Prime Minister.

How to Have an Amazing Job Interview

I’ve written before that you should not go on job interviews. The interview frame of reference casts you in the role of a beggar. The employer has all the power. You seem to have no control over the outcome. You cannot perform well under this scenario.

When meeting with the hiring manager, you should adopt Joseph’s example. Be:

  • Self-confident. A private sector employer will be fortunate to have your military experience put to work for him
  • Honest. You have skills, abilities, and experience. Don’t hesitate to show your Unique Value Proposition.
  • Modest. People like to know that you’ll give credit where it’s due, whether to them or a military colleague.
  • Authentic. Avoid arrogance and exaggeration. Be professional. Don’t be afraid to let the real you show.

Model Joseph’s attitude and behavior when you meet with a hiring manager. The same formula that made him Prime Minister will land you a high-paying job.

Question – What makes you nervous when meeting to discuss a job?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

What verse in the Old Testament would you like to know more about? Ask a question and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

You Made These Most Popular This Year

The Valuable Information You’ll Get in 2017

1-1/2 minutes to read

Building our relationship requires that I provide you with value. I cannot waste the precious time you spend reading my posts. So yearend provides the time to examine if I’m meeting your expectations.

You Made These Most Popular This Year

2016 in Review

You spent almost twice as long reading a post this year as last. And, you were more likely to check out another one. Finally, you were among a growing number of people who came back multiple times for information.

Of the ten most popular posts for the year, listed below, seven cover making a successful transition to civilian life and job hunting. Two talk about how to create and improve relationships. The final one deals with values.

It sounds like you find these topics relevant. Am I right? (Take my 30-second survey to let me know.)

The 10 most-read posts were:

  1. Are You Committing Any of the 8 Deadly Sins of Job Hunting? (A top ten post of all time.)
  2. 5 Common Career Problems: Which Ones Do You Want to Overcome? (A top ten post of all time.)
  3. Why Money Is Not the Root of All Evil
  4. The Truth About Military vs. Civilian Life
  5. A Successful Life Is Like a Jigsaw Puzzle
  6. Know the Most Powerful Word for Getting What You Want?
  7. How You Can Benefit from Blurry Vision (A top ten post of all time.)
  8. You Should Never Go on a Job Interview
  9. 4 Things You Need Besides Skills to Get a Job
  10. How to Know Whom to Create Relationships With

If you missed one of these, take three minutes to check it out now.

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The Year Ahead

For 2017, I plan to continue helping you meet the challenges you face transitioning from military service to the private sector and dealing with civilian life. Will you answer my three-question survey? It will take you 30 seconds or less.

Beginning the end of January you’ll see changes resulting from your response to the survey.

Working together, you can get your share of the American Dream you defended!

What is your top goal for 2017?

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10 Books that Will Improve Your Life in 2017

2-1/2 minutes to read

You may know I read at least 50 books a year. With so many goods ones even at one per week it seems to make hardly a dent. My reading focuses on personal development, history & biography, business, and literature. My guilty pleasures are detective and historical fiction. It all unites to help my family and me live the life we’ve charted.

10 Books that Will Improve Your Life in 2017

I keep abreast of current works But I also look back to see what older books and classics I have missed. Here are the best. Why not treat yourself to one for a Christmas or Chanukah gift?

Personal Development:

The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less by Barry Schwartz

We live amidst great abundance yet don’t seem to be happier. Is it nostalgic yearning? Barry Schwartz makes the case that too many choices bring about unhappiness as surely as no choice. He also gives you actionable steps to relieve yourself of this burden.

The Miracles in You: Recognizing G-d's Amazing Works in You and Through You by Mark Victor Hansen

If you sit around hoping for a miracle it’ll be a long wait. Mark Victor Hansen (the Chicken Soup Book Series) challenges you to become a miracle maker. He explains how to see them in your life and make them happen.

Great Work: How to Make a Difference People Love by David Sturt

In many ways, David Sturt’s book is a companion to Geoff Colvin’s Talent is Overrated. No matter your IQ, talent, educational level, gender, or the circumstances of your birth, you can create a difference the world loves. The ability to innovate comes through the five skills that Sturt reveals. His illustrative stories prove you can execute them.

The 2-Hour Job Search: Using Technology to Get the Right Job Faster by Steve Dalton

Steve Dalton fills in a crucial piece of the job-hunting puzzle. His book will teach you how to connect with people who can help you get the position you want. I used his system. It works.

The One Minute Manager by Kenneth Blanchard

This 34-year-old classic details more than a sound strategy for managing people. Kenneth Blanchard gives you the formula to boost the quality of all your relationships. His simple steps yield clear communication leading to mutually agreeable outcomes.

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History and Biography:

The Wright Brothers by David McCullough

Orville and Wilbur Wright were not extraordinary mechanics, businessmen, or thinkers. David McCullough shows their success came through sheer tenacity. This story will inspire you to redouble your commitment to your life’s mission.

Bull Halsey by E.B. Potter

Arguably the navy’s most beloved admiral, William Halsey’s life testifies to the power of personal connections. E.B. Potter reveals how relationships with his sailors, peers, and family propelled Halsey’s legendary success.

Business and Entrepreneurship:

The Art of the Start: The Time-Tested, Battle-Hardened Guide for Anyone Starting Anything by Guy Kawasaki

I’m not a Guy Kawasaki groupie. I checked out his work from the audio books section of the library so I wouldn’t run out of things to listen to on a car trip. His step-by-step breakdown of entrepreneurship converts a daunting process into manageable pieces. For veteran entrepreneurs and rookies, this book will accelerate your success.

Onward: How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul by Howard Schultz & Joanne Gordon

I am a Howard Schultz fan. I loved his first book, Pour Your Heart Into It. In Onward, he emphasizes the bond between business success and foundational values. You don’t need to like Starbucks coffee to get inspired by this story of its rescue.

Guilty Pleasure:

The Road to Samarcand: An Adventure by Patrick O’Brien

If you saw the movie Master & Commander you got a taste of Patrick O’Brien’s rollicking adventure tales. A group of hardy sailors treks across 1930’s China to exotic Samarcand. This is old-fashioned excitement, breakneck horseback rides and hand to hand combat.

If you want to succeed you must read. If you have a specific challenge that none of these books address let me know. Happy to recommend material to help you.

What books did you read this year that you recommend?

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