Category Archives: Ethics & Values

Do Your Know Your Most Important Quality?

How to Make the Most of Your Military Ethic

3 minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Ki Seitzei – Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19

On the whiteboard in the medical department of my unit, someone wrote out the “Idea Quality Scale”:

Do Your Know Your Most Important Quality?

Ain’t it the truth? At times you’d think the brass designed regulations to thwart productivity. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Lack of sufficient personnel requires long hours to get the job done. Old equipment means lengthy searches for spare parts. I’m sure you can add to this list. Wouldn’t it be nice to escape such frustrations in civilian life?

The Overlooked Source of Passion 

Good luck with that. Half of Americans feel no connection to their work. So they put in the minimum effort. Another 16% hate their jobs. With two-thirds of employees discontent, the civilian workplace isn’t a haven from frustration.

I couldn't find any statistics, but I’d venture to say reverse the numbers for the military. Maybe a third of service members are indifferent or loath what they do. More important, few put in minimal effort. We have a deep passion for our service. But confusion over the nature of passion disguises it. We attribute our dedication to other factors like work ethic and service. Parshas Ki Seitzei sorts it out:

“…you will obliterate the remembrance of Amalek from beneath the heavens. Do not forget.” (Deuteronomy/Devarim 24:9)

G-d gives such a strange command. Don't forget to remember to wipe out the memory of Amalek. Setting aside the self-contradiction, it looks like we’ve done it. When was the last time you heard someone talking about the Amalekites? At least we’ve fulfilled one of our duties to G-d.

Or have we?

Recall why the Almighty condemned the Amalekites to oblivion. The Israelites experienced the miracles of the Exodus and the splitting of the Reed Sea. They saw final destruction of the Egyptians. They ate manna from heaven in the wilderness. These experiences created a warm closeness with G-d. So the other nations of the world left the Israelites alone. Except for Amalek, who attempted to throw a cold blanket on this party by attacking them.

How do we know? The word karcha describes the meeting between the Israelites and Amalek. It means “encountered” and “cooled you.” By striking, the Amalekites hoped to cool the Israelites’ passion for G-d.

But, Amalek isn't only a people. It’s within us, attempting to cool our ardor for the Creator. This Amalek, a much more insidious enemy, we have yet to destroy.

No problem, right? Heat cures cold. Rev up your enthusiasm for serving G-d. Pray more. Take time to study. Do more good deeds. While this may work for a while, swings in your mood and energy will make your progress inconsistent. As well, your agenda may get in the way. Prayer may focus on what you want instead of seeking G-d’s will. Good deeds may curry favor with important people.

Better to fight the cool of the Amalek with ice. Ezekiel (1:22) tells about the “awesome ice, spread out over the heads of the Chayah.” An angel, the Chayah serves G-d with tremendous enthusiasm. But higher than its service is the “awesome ice.” Its devotion is steady, unswerving, a total commitment without a hint of ego. Moses, Aaron, and Miriam serve as examples. All were warm and compassionate. And they had rock solid connections to the Almighty. Heating up your relationship with G-d creates passion. Ice cold resolve steels it against swings in mood and energy.

The True Passion in Military Service                              

You see passion in the heat of military affairs. A drill instructor pumps up his trainees. A column runs with its guidon while calling cadence. A vocalist sings the National Anthem at an official event. But basic training ends after several weeks. The run and the song are shorter still. Then it’s back to the grind of daily life. Does the passion disappear?

No.

It lives on in the dogged commitment to meet the mission. Endless hours working while you grumble about missing parts, meals, and family time shows passion. Your fidelity to duty in the face of stupid policies exhibits passion.

No quality has a higher value in civilian life. Most people don't lead mission driven lives. They're filled with apathy. You embody the icy passion that gets the hard, boring, but necessary jobs done. Be as mission driven outside the military as you were when in it. Such ardor creates a relationship with the Almighty. It will make your transition to civilian life equally stellar.

When did icy passion get you through a tough time?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below

 

Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. Its name comes from the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

3 Ways Excellence Is More Achievable than Ever Before

How the Barriers to Preeminence Have Collapsed

2-½ minutes to read

America was built on the idea that success comes from working hard and staying out of trouble. But there were always barriers to attaining elite status. Those who went to an Ivy League University had certain doors open for them. Wealth conferred privileges unavailable to people of lesser means. Large companies used their financial power and political muscle to stifle competition. If you follow the news it appears that not much has changed.

3 Ways Excellence Is More Achievable than Ever Before

The Military as a Path to Excellence

During the 20th century, the military provided the means to excel. As a result, men such as Dwight Eisenhower and Omar Bradley could be born in poverty and reach the pinnacle of success. Most people know of Eisenhower’s rise from poor Kansas farm boy to President of the United States.

Bradley grew up as the son of a Missouri county schoolteacher. His father died when he was 15. He won an appointment to the Military Academy. During World War II, he led the 900,000 men of 12th Army Group. He rose to the rank of General of the Army (5 Stars) and became Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. After retiring from the Army he was Chairman of the Board of Bulova Watch Company.

Average GIs found success too. The GI Bill made college available to millions of service members who could not have afforded it. The world needed engineers, accountants, and other professionals in huge numbers. The World War II generation took the grit they developed during the Great Depression and the war, combined it with education, and pursued excellence.

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But Americans who hadn't worn the uniform lacked this advantage. For them, the path to excellence remained a struggle at best.

Changes that Benefit Your Future Success

Seventy years after the end of World War II, the world has changed. It has enough lawyers and accountants. It needs more doctors. But the economics of medicine have altered the profession for the worse. College no longer provides a sure route to success.

Yet, today there are opportunities to achieve excellence that never existed before. At least three factors drive this trend:

  1. A degree provides no guarantee you’re on a path to excellence. But education is available like never before. Someone teaches whatever skills you lack. Take valuable abilities like marketing and coding. Community college classes and online programs abound. Anyone can afford these courses. I’ve mentioned before all the large companies that no longer require a degree. Is there any doubt organizations such as Google, Ernst & Young, and Hilton want employees who pursue excellence?
  2. Social media has broken down barriers to the point that you have access to almost everyone. Derek Halpern at Social Triggers has a free video and download explaining how to email influential people and get a response. In his book, The 2-Hour Job Search, Steve Dalton gives you a more in-depth explanation. Here’s a summary. View the whole slide deck then focus on 27-32. Using my status as a veteran, well over 80% of the people I’ve contacted have responded.
  3. The Internet and social media have shrunk the cost to access potential clients. They have driven intermediaries out of the sales chain and robbed large companies of market dominance. Marketing and entrepreneurship gurus offer training on targeting a niche market. You can beat even the biggest multi-nationals. Check out Amy Porterfield and Pat Flynn.

Add these three factors to your advantage as a veteran and you can be unstoppable. Don't get me wrong. It will still take a lot of hard work. You’ll make mistakes and have setbacks. But the hurdles that past generations faced are gone. It’s now up to you to take advantage of this opportunity. Wading in mediocrity means your financial future will erode. Embracing the quest for excellence puts you on the path to the highest level of success…

What is holding you back from striving for excellence?

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How to Be Genuine in Any Situation

The Reason You Must Give Your Heart

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Yayakhel/Pekudei – Exodus 35:1-40:38

Job-hunting after military service sometimes feels like entering a foreign country. Doesn’t it? The differences in language and life experience make communicating difficult. Veterans and civilians struggle to bridge the gap. Parshas Vayakhel/Pekudei will help you be genuine while creating links:

“Everyone who is generous-hearted, will bring it, a portion for G-d.” (Shemos/Exodus 35:5)

How to Be Genuine in Any Situation

This Sabbath is a double parsha to keep on track with the annual cycle. Vayakhel reviews the construction of the Mishkan (Tabernacle). You see the only time in Jewish history that a building campaign raised so much money people had to stop giving!

Pekudei details Moses’s accounting of those donations. Then it explains how he set up the Mishkan. You might have thought that as the leader Moses would tell others to do it. But when G-d gives someone a job it becomes that person’s responsibility. No one should feel he’s beneath anything that serves our Creator.

Get Out of Your Head and Be Genuine

G-d told the Israelites to give contributions for the building of the Mishkan. But why do they have to bring their hearts? Isn’t it enough to give the gold, silver, and other materials?

Rabbi Simcha Zissel of Kelm says we need to give more than mere money. The Almighty wants us to invest emotion and spirit when giving. Open your heart by smiling at the recipient. Recognize him as an individual. Ask her about her experiences. By doing so you transform a simple monetary transaction into a holy act. As well, you mold your self-image into that of a useful person.

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People used to call being in the military being in the service. You were a service member. In this respect civilian and military life mirror one another. The quality of your life comes in large part from serving others. This ethos requires genuine connection with fellow citizens.

Charity Isn’t Only Money

These days charity refers to an organization that raises money to help less fortunate people. Or it’s the actual money donated and distributed.

But charity also used to mean the way you treated someone. Kindness and tolerance marked the behavior of a charitable person. No money changed hands. Rather minds and hearts connected in true understanding.

Recently, Jewish Friends of the American Military asked me to speak on their behalf. Few of the 60 people attending had any link to military life. Sea stories fascinated them. During Q&A, people wanted to know how they could support service members beyond donating to JFAM.

The answer came straight from this week’s parsha. I told them, “We’re very fortunate to live during a time when our fellow citizens thank us for our service. But for some veterans, the gratitude doesn't seem authentic. So before offering your thanks, take a couple of minutes to ask a veteran about his experience. Get to know her a bit. By connecting first, your gratitude will feel genuine.”

Whether giving money or meeting to discuss a job, bring your heart. The links you create will yield more than a short-term benefit. You’ll build the foundation to authentic, life-long relationships.

Question – If you feel you cannot invest your heart when giving to someone should you not do so?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. Its name comes from the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

How to Break Through Your Barrier to a High-Paying Job

Is Fear Preventing You from Maximizing Your Value?

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Terumah – Exodus 25:1-27:19

Many veterans have told me they don’t care about making a lot of money. They just want to get by. Does this describe your perspective on wealth? It has a sense of humility about it. But is it coming from a humble place? Or are you secretly afraid you don’t have what it takes to get a high-paying job? G-d’s interaction with Moses in Parshas Terumah shows how to break through to the path to service and success:

“Speak to the Children of Israel, and they will take for Me a portion…” (Shemos/Exodus 25:22)

How to Break Through Your Barrier to a High-Paying Job

This Sabbath’s parsha details the plans for the Mishkan or portable Sanctuary. G-d rested His Presence there during the Israelites’ wanderings in the wilderness. Such ordinary materials as copper, linen, and goatskins are turned into a holy abode.

You Can’t Give What Someone Else Owns

G-d uses a strange word when He commands Moses to ask the Israelites to donate the materials for building the Tabernacle. Usually, when contributing money to construct a building, donors say they gave money to build it. But you can’t give anything to G-d. All creation belongs to Him already.

So it makes no sense for the Almighty to tell the Israelites to give donations for the Tabernacle. But telling them to take donations makes no sense either. Only someone embezzling the donations would say he was taking them.

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It turns out when the Almighty says, “take for Me” He means, “from what I have given you to use, separate a gift in my name.”

Break Through to Take Your Money With You

So you don’t actually own your money. It’s not a part of you. You only have use of it for your limited time in this world. As a result, some people decide to spend their money indiscriminately. Or, they use it to indulge in hedonistic pleasures. But because some people abuse wealth doesn’t mean you will. So don’t avoid maximizing the value of your skills, knowledge, and experience.

While you don’t own your wealth, the Almighty expects you to use it wisely. How?

The Tabernacle teaches money transforms into an eternal possession when you use it for a holy purpose. Support your family. Develop your resilience and character. Donate it to charity. Use the prosperity that the Almighty gives you toward His cherished goal. When you take care of His children, you improve the only thing you’ll take into eternity: Your relationships with G-d.

Like money, your skills, knowledge, and experiences all become worthless when you die. But you can use them to build value in other people’s lives. Then they become tools for building the eternal possession of a close relationship with the Creator.

When someone tells you service to others is the path to success, they’re describing this very idea. It’s built into military life. That’s why years ago people said you joined the service. You were a service member, not a military member.

Make service your goal in civilian life. Note that getting paid well doesn’t conflict with helping others. People need better goods and services. They need new ways of understanding the complexity of modern life. Use your skills, knowledge, and experience to better their lives. Break through the fear you can't or shouldn't have a high-paying job. Then you’ll have plenty of money to take for G-d as you build an eternal possession.

Question – How does it make you feel to give money to charity?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

How to Respond to People with Offensive Values

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Chayei Sarah – Genesis 23:1-25:18

Freedom means encountering people and values that make you uncomfortable. As a new chaplain, I was told not to use Hebrew when giving a public prayer. I thought the person giving me this instruction was hypersensitive or bigoted. Latin didn’t bother me. Why should Hebrew bother others? I could have protested. But to what end? It would have offended people. And I would have lost any chance to impact their lives. Parshas Chayei Sarah gives a tried and true method for handling this situation:

“…also for your camels I will draw until they finish drinking.” (Beresheis/Genesis 24:19)

How to Respond to People with Offensive Values

This Sabbath’s parsha begins with Sarah dying. Abraham purchased a burial site, interred her, and devotedly mourned. Next, he ordered Eliezer, his servant, to find a wife for Isaac. Abraham remarried. The narrative concludes with his death and the death of Ishmael.

Avoid Offending People

Consider what Abraham knew about his neighbors. G-d brought the flood because most people robbed or committed sexual immorality. He lived during the time of the Dispersion when people challenged G-d’s authority with the Tower of Babel. After she gave birth, Hagar mocked his beloved Sarah’s barrenness. Efron the Hittite grossly overcharged him for a burial site even as he grieved over his wife’s death.  He probably knew that Cain murdered Abel.

Not a pretty picture.

Abraham rejected his neighbors’ values. But he did not run around protesting them. Nor did he engage in heated words or provoke them. He wore mourning garments. But only because his wife died not to show he abhorred other people's values. He continued to live his life.

Abraham knew he could not change anyone’s behavior or beliefs through confrontation or insults.

Nothing has changed in the last four millennia. You will not change anyone’s mind by offending him. You’ll only harden his position.

Secure the Next Generation’s Values

Abraham took action too. He redoubled his effort to ensure Isaac would keep his values. Eliezer received specific instructions about a suitable wife for his son and heir.

Eliezer set out for Abraham’s homeland. On arriving there, he decided the proper young woman must offer to alleviate his thirst, then that of his camels. Deep sensitivity to animal welfare does not necessarily indicate a similar attitude toward humans. But someone who responds to the needs of a stranger and then even his animals is a paragon of kindness.

Along came Rebecca. Her brother was one of the greatest liars in history. So sensitive was she to honesty, Rebecca said she would draw water for his camels. Her words implied she could not be sure they would drink. Though surrounded by selfishness and deceit, she remained virtuous. Rebecca’s strength of character qualified her as co-heir to Abraham’s legacy.

Together, Isaac and Rebecca would ensure G-d’s morality endured despite their neighbor’s depravity.

Without demonstrations, insults, or threats of withdrawal, Abraham stayed the course. As a result, his values have survived for over 4,000 years. Most of humanity continues to reject those of the Canaanite nations.

You have two choices when people’s values offend you. Abandon your own by attacking those you disagree with. Or adhere to them more closely. Become an even more shining example of how good they are. Be more diligent about teaching them to your children. Then have faith that G-d will see to their endurance.

Question – How do you engage with people whose values offend you?

Please comment on this question or ask another question below.

 

Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

What verse in the Old Testament would you like to know more about? Ask a question and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

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