Category Archives: Resilience

Are You Shy About Promoting Your Accomplishments?

How to Make Self-Marketing Godly

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Tzav – Leviticus 6:1-8:36

The military knows how to build morale. You may have encountered a bad leader. But most follow Parshas Tzav's advice on reward and punishment:

“If for a thanksgiving offering he will offer it, with the sacrifice of the thanksgiving offering he will offer unleavened loaves mixed with oil, unleavened wafers smeared with oil; and scalded fine flour mixed with oil. Along with loaves of leavened bread…” (Vayikra/Leviticus 7:12-13)

Are You Shy About Promoting Your Accomplishments

This Sabbath’s parsha continues the discussion of the korbanos (Temple offerings). Then it details the anointing of Aaron and his sons as the Kohanim (Priests) who will serve in the Temple.

Your Public and Private Life

When a sailor lived through a hurricane he brought a thanksgiving offering. A captive who escaped imprisonment did too. Anyone surviving perilous circumstances could express gratitude to the Almighty with this offering.

Along with the animal, a person brought 40 loaves of bread. They comprised ten each of the four varieties mentioned above.  The Kohen handling the offering received one of each kind. The other 36 went to the person who brought it.

All had to be eaten that day or by the following night. The short time ensured the bread would get shared with others. When you received a loaf, you learned about your friend’s good fortune. Soon it became general knowledge in the community.

Juxtapose this to the sin offering. You didn’t bring any loaves. So news about your mistakes didn’t spread.

Share your joy at receiving G-d’s blessing and you’ll improve people’s moods. They’ll see an example of where faith, hope, and perseverance pay off.  True friends feel joy and gratitude for your success. These feelings enhance their wellbeing.

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By contrast, avoid publicizing your challenges and difficulties. Keep them among those who will give you genuine support and sympathy. Public emoting of problems, so common today, makes people pessimistic. Or they may gloat at your misfortune. Neither benefits you or them.

Don't be Shy About Accomplishments

The military didn’t always recognize the difference between public and private spheres. Until at least the mid 19th century, units mustered to witness punishment. Flogging through the fleet publicized the heinousness of certain crimes like mutiny.

Today’s military leaders know to praise in public and rebuke in private. They award medals in front of your whole unit. Family and friends hear a tribute to your exemplary deeds. Your colleagues get motivated to keep striving.

Reprimands take place in confidential proceedings. Article 15, office hours, and captain’s mast happen behind closed doors. While others may hear about them, no one publicizes results. The public can attend a court martial. But only in the most notorious cases is punishment disclosed.

The same principle applies throughout your life. In public, praise and show gratitude to your spouse. In front of others, commend your child for accomplishments reaped through hard work. When something negative occurs, deal with the issue in private. No matter how right you were, if you rebuked them in public apologize.

Treat yourself the same way. Publicize your accomplishments. Emphasize the good parts of your military service. Show how your responsibility grew during your career. But don’t volunteer negative aspects to a potential employer.

If confronted with a question about mistakes you’ve made, frame them as lessons learned. That way you show the kind of growth mindset most employers value.

The Creator wants your good fortune to motivate others to connect with Him. In contrast, punishment is His one-on-one way of inspiring better future performance. Hence why He had people publicize thanksgiving offerings and keep sin offerings private. Model these practices all through your life.

Question – Is it dishonest to publicize only the good things that happened to you or that you’ve done?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below

 

Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. Its name comes from the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

4 Steps to Quickly Profit from Mistakes

How God Guides You to Success

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Vayikra – Leviticus 1:1-5:26

Most people view sins as bad. Rather than quickly profit when they make mistakes, guilt consumes them. They refuse to try again. People who think G-d wants such a world amaze me. Parshas Vayikra shows the Almighty wants you to strive:

“When a ruler will sin, and does unintentionally one from all of his G-d’s commandments that you will not do, and becomes guilty.” (Vayikra/Leviticus 4:22)

4 Steps to Quickly Profit from Mistakes

 

This Sabbath’s parsha begins the third book of the Torah by the same name. Throughout it details the duties of the Kohanim or Priests. Hence, its other name, Leviticus, since the Kohanim are part of the tribe of Levi. The parsha gives the rules for bringing offerings on the altar. Notice in verse 2:13 the Priests must salt them. So we dip Sabbath bread in salt.

Success & Humility Go Hand in Hand

An individual, the community, and the king have to bring a chatas for an unintentional sin. Hence why it’s translated as sin offering. The Kohen Gadol (High Priest) was the spiritual head of the Israelites. Members of the Sanhendrin (supreme court) had lofty positions of leadership. Why single out the king and not other high officials?

As part of his holy service the Kohen Gadol had to examine his conduct daily. So did the Sanhendrin members. Unintentionality didn't apply to them. Every day, each went through the process of uncovering and atoning for his mistakes.

The king exercised temporal power. When he issued a command it happened. Such authority could cause him to feel infallible. While engaged in worldly affairs, his mind could stray from spiritual matters. Self-examination was not part of his everyday life.

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So unlike other community leaders, the king needed a reminder. Like the lowliest of his subjects, he had to take responsibility for his mistakes. Bringing a chatas made a public statement. The pre-eminent leader had to account to the Almighty. By making amends and learning his lessons, the king could continue his life free from guilt.

Quickly Profit Instead of Feeling Guilty

When you wield authority, take pleasure in assessing your behavior often. Engage with G-d every day. Acknowledge your errors to the Creator. Unlike humans, He always understands. But G-d doesn’t want you to stop there.

Admitting your mistakes begins the growth process. Accountability has nothing to do with feeling guilt or receiving punishment. Both hinder change. Instead, see negative results as the prod to improve and try again. Apply this approach to developing your health, profession, mind, and spirit. You’ll quickly profit form mistakes when you internalize this process.

As I mentioned above, Scripture translates chatas as sin offering. It often uses shorthand to define complex concepts. A sin means you fell short of G-d’s expectations. Consequences incentivize you to learn from your mistakes so you won’t suffer them again. Imagine an animal losing its life because you made an error. The crucial step, assessment, gives trying again tremendous power for improved performance.

Here is the root of deliberate practice that I wrote about last week. You can use this method only in real life situations. Or you can drill yourself. Wherever you make frequent errors, create a way to practice improving your performance. That way you won’t fall short at crucial moments. And if you do, you can quickly profit from this mistake by pivoting your practice to deal with it.

Examine the pain points in your life. Rather than avoiding them, take G-d’s prodding to focus on them. Build assessment into your life. Especially as a parent, model this behavior. Then you and your children will gain greater accomplishment and success together.

So what are you waiting for?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below

 

Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. Its name comes from the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

How to Use Your Strengths to Overcome Every Challenge

Do You Know You Have Gold Others Want?

2 minutes to read

What part of your life frustrates you? Are you exasperated about your marriage, job, children, or health? Or life seems okay, but you have a nagging feeling it could be better. Either can lead to unhappiness. Fortunately, you have the ability to change. This isn’t rah rah pep talk. Each of us possesses gold. What’s more, we can swap it while increasing our own supply. We call this amazing currency our strengths.

How to Use Your Strengths to Overcome Every Challenge

The Influence of Loved Ones

Jim Rohn said, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” If you look around, you see successful people associate with others at or above their level. You may think you’re immune from the influence of other people. But examine what you love and hate. They connect you to family and close friends. You share them in common. Or a loved one’s opposite view reinforces your love or hatred.

Given such enormous impact, precede any change by examining who you spend the most time with. If they don’t exhibit the quality you want, you’ll have to create a new relationship. You can do this in two ways:

  1. Convince one of your current family members or friends to change with you. In doing so you’ll learn how dedicated a friend you have. Upgrading your lives together will build an even more solid friendship. You can hold each other accountable. But if the person proves unreliable you’ll have to…
  1. Search for a new friend. Find someone who embodies the strength you want to acquire. Look for ways to spend time with the person. Observe how he exhibits your desired quality or skill. Ask for mentorship. If the person isn’t interested, find someone else.
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If your current group of close associates isn’t growing you won’t either. You’ll have to break away to advance your life.

How to Use Your Strengths

Six months ago I decided to coach an acquaintance to run the L.A. Marathon. Since then, we ran 30 to 35 miles per week. Several Fridays I returned home soaked to the skin after running 20 miles in pouring rain. Fun did not factor into the training. I’m proud to say yesterday, despite throbbing knees, we finished the race in under six hours.

A great physical accomplishment you say? Sure. But its importance lies elsewhere.

I admire the character and work ethic of the man I coached, Moshe Cohen. He models excellence as a husband and father. His self-discipline is legendary among those who know him. Humility tops a long list of admirable qualities.

For me, training for a marathon wasn’t about physical endurance. Rather, I saw an opportunity to have a friend who would help me make positive change in important areas of my life. I haven’t asked him, but I hope he got the same benefit from my coaching.

The medals we got for finishing the marathon have nothing to do with running. Rather, they represent a friendship that will help both of us continue to improve our lives.

Your strengths are gifts you can give to people who will show you how to improve. Use them to overcome your weaknesses.

Which of your strengths will benefit others most?

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How to Break Through to the Life You Want

Are You Drilling the One Fundamental for Success?

2 minutes to read

When you joined the military you didn’t have all the skills you needed for success. You may have had to learn to march, fire a rifle on target, or build stamina. Whatever the challenge, you drilled it. Sooner or later you had a breakthrough. You adjusted to military life, advanced in rank, and achieved success. Civilian life works the same way.

How to Break Through to the Life You Want

Same Process Different Mission

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Since the military clearly defines its mission, you knew exactly what you had to do. And your drill instructor gave you consistent feedback so you could improve. Every service branch embodies the three fundamentals for achieving success:

  1. Purpose
  2. Mission
  3. Deliberate Practice

Two weeks ago you read about the importance of purpose. Your service branch indoctrinated your purpose. It made you a soldier, Marine, sailor, airman, or coastguardsman. What good would all the drilling have done without a coherent idea of the kind of warfighter your service branch needed? It may not have seemed so at the time. But basic training implanted purpose in your life.

To transition to civilian life, you need to adjust or redefine your purpose.

Once you know who you’ll be, you can tackle what you want to accomplish. Like with purpose, you need to swap your military mission for one in civilian life.

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All the work you do reintegrating into civilian life will be worthless until you know what to drill. You can’t break through a barrier if you don’t know where to head.

Break Through in Small Steps

Once you know what you want, you can determine which skills you lack for getting it. If you’re changing fields, you may need a degree or certificate. But you never had to job-hunt in the military. So you need some of the job-hunting and life navigation abilities civilians learn naturally. Once you identify which ones, you can drill them to reach mastery.

Every civilian who gained exceptional success used a process called deliberate practice. It has five elements:

  1. Designed to improve a small aspect of performance.
  2. Repeated at high volume.
  3. Constantly engaged mentally while practicing.
  4. Stretched beyond enjoyment.
  5. Consistently received corrective feedback.

They look identical to the military, don’t they? Apply them the way your drill instructors did during basic training.

Let’s say you don’t feel confident during a meeting to discuss a job. Use deliberate practice to master this skill. Begin by breaking it down into small pieces:

  1. Addressing the receptionist on arrival.
  2. Meeting the hiring manager.
  3. The first 30 to 120 seconds.
  4. Responding to the five most common questions.
  5. Asking relevant questions that show your professional expertise and interest.

And so on…

Work with a more experienced fellow veteran, a mentor, or a coach. Drill deliberate practice until you can perform with confidence. Now you have the formula to break through to the life you want.

How can you apply deliberate practice to improve your transition?

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How to Unlock Hope When You Need It Most

The Value Focus Will Add to Your Job-Hunt

2-½ minutes to read

Parsha [Passage of Scripture] Nugget [Precious Idea] Mishpatim - Exodus 21:1-24:18

Let’s face it, life can be discouraging. Sometimes you lose heart. Your job-hunt has lasted too long. Or your marriage has deteriorated so that you feel disconnected from your spouse. Whatever plagues you, anger and disappointment scatter your thinking. If only you could unlock hope when you need it. Then you could proceed with confidence. Right? Parshas Mishpatim has the answer:

“…and he heals he will heal.” (Shemos/Exodus 21:19).

How to Unlock Hope When You Need It Most

In this Sabbath's parsha, G-d gives 53 mitzvahs to guide the conduct of the Israelites. Twenty-three are positive things they can do to get closer to G-d. Thirty are negative things that will damage their relationship with Him. The mitzvahs cover a broad range of institutions, crimes, activities, and celebrations. Toward the end of Mishpatim, G-d promises to lead the Children of Israel into the Land of Israel and conquer their enemies.

Find a Partner in Your Struggles

Bob and Jim get into a fight. Bob hits Jim with a stone or his fist. He hurts him doesn’t kill him. Bob pays Jim for lost wages and medical expenses. All this is normal. Then the Torah says someone will heal Jim and repeats he will heal him. We already know Jim didn’t die. So of course he got better.

Still, the Torah says twice that he’ll be healed. The repetition appears to have no purpose.

The first “He heals” might be interpreted as “G-d heals.” Perhaps you must rely ONLY on the Almighty if you are sick or injured. But if the first “he heals” refers to G-d, the second one must allude to someone else. The Talmud says the doctor is the second “he heals.” So healing comes from a partnership between G-d and a doctor.

The verse also teaches doctors heal, but they don’t control whether a patient recovers. The pairing of G-d and a human healer means no matter how great the physician, the Almighty makes the final decision. As partners, the doctor uses his knowledge, skill, and experience toward a goal. G-d decides the results.

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The Almighty has the same partnership with you.

Unlock Hope on Demand

Good doctors know even with the best treatment, some patients die. They don’t control the outcome. Despite this reality, they go to extraordinary lengths to ensure their patients live. At the same time, most doctors compartmentalize disappointment. They shield themselves from the unpredictable aspects of their work. So they can always unlock hope.

You can follow this model. Rather than judging your success based on the outcome, focus on the process. Go to extraordinary lengths in carrying out each step of your job-hunt. Use your knowledge, skills, and experience toward a goal. Leave the result to the Almighty.

Think about how successful the partnership between G-d and doctors has been. Average life span increased 60% from 1900 to 2000. Physicians got better and better at giving medical care. The Almighty granted them greater success.

Rather than getting discouraged, focus on what you can control. You decide what to do, why, and how hard to work at it. Refine your course of action. Learn about the only 5 steps you need to take to get a high-paying job. Direct all your energy toward improving each step you take. Always look for better ways to use your time and skills. When you get in the habit of finding another new way to pursue your goal, you’ll unlock hope whenever you need it.

Question – What job-hunting step can you improve on now?

You can leave a comment on this question or ask another question below

 

Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

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